Inviting friends over

Believe it or not, this is quite a ritual. It is not as easy as picking up the phone and calling them over for lunch. I wanted to call a NCC mate of mine home and this is what happened.

“Rekha we need to call Derek Lesley home,” I said casually even as I changed the channel from AsiaNet to Sun TV. Rekha being a Malayali always watches AsiaNet, while I being a Tamilian stick to Sun TV. 

“If you can change the channel back to AsiaNet, we can talk.”

Needless to say, I changed the channel. Sometimes, having the remote control alone doesn`t entitle you privileges. 


“And you were saying?”

“I was saying that we need to invite Derek Lesley home for lunch one day.”

“Derek who?”

“Derek Lesley.” I said trying to sound normal.

An actual screen shot from Microsoft WordI get really angry when my wife starts behaving like my boss. It happens so often in my house that I checked if the word ‘boss` is a synonym of the word ‘wife`. Apparently it is not. According to Microsoft Word, the only synonyms of the word ‘wife` are: companion, consort, spouse, partner and husband. Yes, ‘Husband` is a synonym for ‘Wife` and vice-versa. Don`t ask me why.

“Who is Derek Lesley? I have never heard of him before.”

“He is my friend from NCC. He was from Loyola College and I from The American College and we would meet at various camps.”

“How come you have never said anything about him before?” Rekha had her eyebrows raised.

I felt as if I had killed a model in a bar in New Delhi and was now sitting in front of the police interrogator. If you are married, you probably understand what I mean.

“Well, we lost touch after college and we met at Spencers Plaza last week. That was after almost 12-13 years.”

“You never mentioned meeting him during our talk.”

“Yes, I didn`t. I realize it was a big mistake.” Purists call it stooping to conquer.

“And when and why did you go to Spencers?”

“Hmm…last week.”

“I know last week…but when? Which day? You never told me that.” 

“I agree that`s my second mistake of the day.” Purists call it stooping twice to have the last laugh. 

“Hope you haven`t told him already about this invite?” I didn`t tell Rekha that marriage had taught me many things and the most important being…never to commit.

“No…I didn`t. He just got married and I thought it would be a swell idea to call the couple home.”

“Let me think. I will get back to you in a day`s time. While you are at it, why don`t you increase the volume…this is the Mohan Lal movie which won him the National award.”

I imagined the remote to be a pistol, and imagined the TV to be my wife and fired two rounds…

“That should be fine,” said Rekha as she settled into her bean bag.

Jammy’s Pick

Rekha and I visit Mocha, Chennai
When the stomach is full…
Why should you marry the girl you love?
The art of gifting
Buffet dinner with ex-colleagues…

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

31 replies on “Inviting friends over”

I am curious to know, what you are doing when your turns comes? Will Rekha’s friends never turn up (with/without invitation). I know that does not require your permission, still keep posted such events as sequel to this posting. Priyadarshan (Director, of course) is looking for such stories, and desperately logging to internet and blogs to find out stories where a Malu plays a leading role.


erm… this is my first time in here(and probably wont be the last!) and I have to say; without perpetually taking a woman’s side just because I am a woman but Men tend to forget to tell us about their big plans they have in their heads…either plans or ideas to invite friends over.
They think that just because they thought of it, we know. May I remind you…MEN…. that us…WOMEN… are not mind readers. We try, but we can’t. And if we pretend we can, we are lying just to make you feel inadequate!
So next time, get your wife involves in your big plans… otherwise dont be surprised if she egts angry at you.

men never learn!!

Cant help but wonder…does wifey know you write this way? if yes and she doesnt say anything.. seems to me she has one amazing quality.. patience & an incredible sense of humour! 🙂

I will be the first to admit that I dont have a sense of humour about the sad way men think it is funny to take off on the ol’marriage-ball-and-chain” jokes. Love your writing style. You have a flair for words. Please dont waste it on using Rekha even in your thoughts as a punching bag.

Im sure you guys are a terrific couple! Luck!

Hi Mey and Divya,
Do you think Jammy will be the kind of a person who would leave his wife while taking decisions or that he is Using Rekha as a punching bag? if so, Understand something it is Rekha who makes him write and she lives in all his words and thoughts.
If you still have doubts on how much he adores and cares for her, please click the link About Rekha ….

What Jammy? Am I right?

Sunny: Surprisingly, I can’t complain about Rekha inviting her friends. Why would I want to stop pretty girls who come home and provide me relief?

Regarding Priyadarshan looking for Malus who play a leading role….Rekha will be hands down winner. But then wouldn’t I feel jealous? Thats why I havn’t eve put her photograph on this website.

Nina: I would probably be in Jail for attempted murder and Rekha would still be watching TV. if you wondering how did real Rekha escape the real pistol – thats coz my aim sucks. Big Time.

Even before my marriage, I aimed for a rich girl and got Rekha!!

Uma: I never got to invite Derek. He read my blog and came to know that Rekha was against it…
When i asked him why he wouldn’t want to come home, he said: “On can take a risk with a good cook, and one can take a risk with a woman…but one can never take a risk with an angry woman who doesn’t cook well.”

I didn’t have an answer!

Mey: I am surprised you liked the stuff here. It is actually reserved for people who escape from mental asylums. And of course the ones that are married.

And yes, I agree with you…women tend to forget to tell us men about their big plans they have in their heads…either plans or ideas to invite friends over.

Divya: My first wife knows about this blog. My second wife is a computer illetrate and my third is not into reading.

All three of them amazing amounts of patience and sense of humor. Well, the added advantage for my first wife is that she also gets to pocket the Google Adsense check. probably wonder what keeps her silent inspite of being ridiculed – sense of humor or the Google check? I leave it to you…

Uma: Hi mate…thanks for standing up for me.

I am sure Divya and Mey are just pulling my leg. Perhaps, they want to be better kabaddi players.

I am actually a big fan of two humor writers whose style I follow – Erma Bombeck and Sue Townsend and both of them use their family to create humour.

Also, I am glad you liked the statement in “About Rekha.” It is indeed a nice line.

Just so you know Jammy… I did escape from a mental institute not long ago…but shhhhh… no one knows!

Uma, I had no doubt Jammy loves his wife dearly. it put the channel back on for her… now that’s love to me!!! lol

Jammy, Maybe you should give a goli to Rekha that the guests have agreed to do the dishes after the lunch.. i am sure she would want you to invite more friends home 🙂

Outstanding job dude!! I am really proud to say we were once upon a time friends 🙂 Great job on this new site and looks great. I just realised that I have been with such a genius for so long… All the best for all your work.

once upon a time, there lived jammy.. and his wife…. and one day he disappeared.. leaving no clue.. office-goers, who would start their days reading his blogs, couldn’t live happily thereafter.

[…] # 1About Jamshed Velayuda Rajan # 2 Rekha is pregnant and happy # 3The Kingfisher Class – Part 1 # 4 A visit to Fan India, Chennai # 5 Married men need mistresses # 6 Getting to know sex thro’ Fashion TV Different types of fathers in law When the baby and the mother bond and forget the father The initial months of pregnancy Accepting gifts from relatives Once inside the Jet Airways Can somebody tell me what women want Inviting friends over Why should you marry the girl you love Sexual escapades of a married man Our visit to a gynecologist Trained Romance Making full use of the bath tub The art of swearing unnoticed Mother in law vs daughter in law When Rekha and I visited Mocha, Chennai A married man’s guide to safe and sound staring Am I a lesbian? Sex on television The origin and art of kissing Why do men always pee in the wrong place? I think I am pregnant Ten sentences you will never hear your wife say Much married, much harried A fat chance – never call your wife fat Valentine’s day is over. Phew! Ten reasons why you need a girl friend My world is suddenly crowded The conversation between Osama and Batman […]

though i ve heard abt “ouchmytoe”, i never bothered to peep here… but now when my frnd fwded me a link with caption “vote 4 me” , it was for tht contest like “puttin smtin into ur mouth” ;-)… i dint ve option
Dis place is SimBly superb!!!! Well, I mentioned “SimBly” , hope u figured where i hail from.. Even b4 i cud traverse thru PDF, i did fwd the link to many of my frns.. 😀

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