I can now reveal the news I have been trying to hide from the World for the last three months. Perhaps, Rekha has given me the go ahead because she knows she will anyway give away the secret herself. One really can`t hide from the World that one is pregnant – the huge stomach will give it away anytime now.
Yes…Rekha and I are in the family way. The day I came to know of it, my nightmares wherein I used to get pregnant have stopped. But other nightmares have begun.
I am celebrating this news as only a blogger can – by introducing a new category called “Pregnancy Diary“. It will contain my travails as an expectant father. Does this mean we will have a “Baby Diary” by April next year? Damn right.
Here I try and describe the hectic one week during which Rekha announced that she was pregnant.Â
Aug 5-6: Just before detection
No sex for a long time – all kinds of excuses flying around the house. Wonder why men never make any excuses for not having sex? Anyway, when you don`t get your daily dose of sex…you know something is wrong. She is either mad at you or she is pregnant.
Wife talks about other girls who are trying to get pregnant. She talks of other girls who have kids. She talks of how Ms X`s husband Mr Y gifted her a diamond.
We visit the gynecologist where my job is to decorate the sofa in the waiting room. I am told it is regular visit, only to be deceived later. ISI hand?
Wife wakes me up at 5. Apparently doing a home pregnancy test at 5 a.m. is good…or so she believes. Wakes me up at 5…she doesn`t know I have slept at 1 a.m….for the next two hours she appraises me of how my life will change because she has tested positive for pregnancy. I say: “But hasn`t it already changed.”
Forced to make her breakfast coz as soon as the she saw the positive test, she started feeling pukish. I tell her, “I am also feeling pukish,” but she doesn`t believe me.
Forced to drop her at office. Apparently, autos are a strict no.
One of her friends asks her to do a lab test for pregnancy before calling up a gynecologist. At 9 a.m. go to a lab, do a test and then go have b`fast and then drop her in office and then go to my office. When I reached office it was 11 a.m.. Men do have huge responsibilities.Â
Everybody is calling up….and congratulating. Wonder who told because Rekha`s last statement on the subject was, “Let us not tell anybody for three months at least.”
Now, she gets up at 8 a.m. and as soon as she gets up I am expected to be ready with tea.
Went to the gynec at 8.30 p.m….she said everything needs to be in moderation. Except happiness. The gynec placed the whole responsibility of keeping her happy on my frail shoulders. I wonder why I pay the gynec. By the way, they have an awesome thirst for money.
Wife doesn`t bother if house is cleaned or not. Doesn`t even brush before walking into the kitchen and eating something – this is real news coz she was the Rani Mukherjee of Chalte Chalte earlier.
Rekha has started reading up Babycenter.com and subscribed to their newsletter too. Calls me after every half hour to tell about this new pregnancy tip she read about. So much so, my colleagues know that when I sleep off at conversation…it must be a call from my pregnant wife.
We went to a hospital for various kinds of tests, including the HIV+ve test. Rekha was upset that her results weren`t positive…took me a while to explain that this was one test where being negative was good. Never waited in a hospital for so long…with nothing to do but listen to one`s wife narrate pregnancies stories from across the globe.
If only Rekha had told me one more story…I would have gotten pregnant and my nightmares would have come true.
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