Announcing – Pregnancy Diary

I can now reveal the news I have been trying to hide from the World for the last three months. Perhaps, Rekha has given me the go ahead because she knows she will anyway give away the secret herself. One really can`t hide from the World that one is pregnant – the huge stomach will give it away anytime now.

Yes…Rekha and I are in the family way. The day I came to know of it, my nightmares wherein I used to get pregnant have stopped. But other nightmares have begun.

I am celebrating this news as only a blogger can – by introducing a new category called “Pregnancy Diary“. It will contain my travails as an expectant father. Does this mean we will have a “Baby Diary” by April next year? Damn right.

Here I try and describe the hectic one week during which Rekha announced that she was pregnant. 
Aug 5-6: Just before detection

No sex for a long time – all kinds of excuses flying around the house. Wonder why men never make any excuses for not having sex? Anyway, when you don`t get your daily dose of sex…you know something is wrong. She is either mad at you or she is pregnant.

Wife talks about other girls who are trying to get pregnant. She talks of other girls who have kids. She talks of how Ms X`s husband Mr Y gifted her a diamond.

We visit the gynecologist where my job is to decorate the sofa in the waiting room. I am told it is regular visit, only to be deceived later. ISI hand?

Aug 7:

Wife wakes me up at 5. Apparently doing a home pregnancy test at 5 a.m. is good…or so she believes. Wakes me up at 5…she doesn`t know I have slept at 1 a.m….for the next two hours she appraises me of how my life will change because she has tested positive for pregnancy. I say: “But hasn`t it already changed.”

Forced to make her breakfast coz as soon as the she saw the positive test, she started feeling pukish. I tell her, “I am also feeling pukish,” but she doesn`t believe me.

Forced to drop her at office. Apparently, autos are a strict no.

Aug 8:

One of her friends asks her to do a lab test for pregnancy before calling up a gynecologist. At 9 a.m. go to a lab, do a test and then go have b`fast and then drop her in office and then go to my office. When I reached office it was 11 a.m.. Men do have huge responsibilities. 

Everybody is calling up….and congratulating. Wonder who told because Rekha`s last statement on the subject was, “Let us not tell anybody for three months at least.”

Now, she gets up at 8 a.m. and as soon as she gets up I am expected to be ready with tea.

Went to the gynec at 8.30 p.m….she said everything needs to be in moderation. Except happiness. The gynec placed the whole responsibility of keeping her happy on my frail shoulders. I wonder why I pay the gynec. By the way, they have an awesome thirst for money.

Aug 9:

Wife doesn`t bother if house is cleaned or not. Doesn`t even brush before walking into the kitchen and eating something – this is real news coz she was the Rani Mukherjee of Chalte Chalte earlier.

Rekha has started reading up and subscribed to their newsletter too. Calls me after every half hour to tell about this new pregnancy tip she read about. So much so, my colleagues know that when I sleep off at conversation…it must be a call from my pregnant wife.

Aug 10:

We went to a hospital for various kinds of tests, including the HIV+ve test. Rekha was upset that her results weren`t positive…took me a while to explain that this was one test where being negative was good. Never waited in a hospital for so long…with nothing to do but listen to one`s wife narrate pregnancies stories from across the globe.

If only Rekha had told me one more story…I would have gotten pregnant and my nightmares would have come true.

Other Pregnant Reads

When I thought, I was pregnant
Our Visit to the gynecologist
All about babies
All Males Unite

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

51 replies on “Announcing – Pregnancy Diary”

Hahaha! Read my blog and glimpse your future.

If you think the sex has dried up now that your wife is pregnant, you have a long wait ahead. It’s been eight months since we had a baby and i’m still waiting.

– the Author

[Apologies Dear Author, but I had to edit your comments to make it parliamentary.] 

Kangraajulashuns machi!! I kinda sensed it about 2-3 months earlier when the posts abt rekhs and co were dwindling, leg pulling gone down kinds!! As the ozzies say, “good on ya mayte!!” Of course all kangaaroolations to rekhs too!! Finaly we get to see mini jammy terrorize the father!! *wicked laff!!!* HAHAHAHAHA!!!!


congrats jammy & rekha! enjoy the next few months as a couple.

you will have to wait for minimum 18 years before you get into this couple state again. more years, if you have more kids, and all of them decide to stay at home during college, after college, and NEVER if they decide to live with you with their spouse 🙂 a niiice joint family 🙂

take care, wait for the puking to stop, and have a happy pregnancy. 🙂 such nice news 🙂

congrats.. congrats.. congrats.. as Bobby said.. this news is actually not a news for us.. it was an open secret.. but still feels good to hear it from horse’s mouth. enjoy the experiences..

Hey, Congrats you guys!!! 🙂 (Im hoping like hell the kid takes after its mother. Im not too sure the world can take more than one Jammy!! 😉 ) Just kidding 😀

Its now news man.. Many knew it already.. As wrong one says, its nice to hear from the horse no no.. devils mouth… I jus could stop imaginig how ur jr. is goin to take a ride out of u… Ha ha ha hu hu hu.. haa haa haaa

Kangrattssssssss Reks and Raj

I opened your site; it is full of pregnancy stuff. Along with your write-up there are Pregnancy jewellary, shoes, calender,am I pregnant, Pregnancy test, Indian pregnancy (I mentioned all, if google doesn’t send cheque remind them.) My google was not working and could not find the meaning of the word since my studies were in state-(mis)run anti-uniform schools. In the MS-Word synonym I found it means Weighty.(Other synonyms I could not understand). I clarified with my friends that it is the mistake my parents did more than 25 years ago. I still could not get it.

I never appreciate others, but I thought of doing that for you. Those who make fun of themselves are great always. So I am all-time greatest and short-listed by Noble Prize committee. They have decided a prize for it i.e. a Patented Gift hamper (Designer diaper + Milk bottle). But, that will be delivered after clearance from Indian Custom Dept, so a safe 6 month period. So, I thought of withdrawing myself from it & give away that prize to you. At least sacrifice is something. Are you keen ???

Prizes never go away since there are many takers!!

first three months of pregnancy are crucial time so no one reveals the news to the world 🙂 and men please understand baby is more important than sex…. when our own kid is growing up within us, we give preference to the little one than anything else in life… :)i just came across this site thru my frnd so mr. n mrs. jv rajan congrajulations .. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” Theodore Hesburgh …. 🙂

Congratulations again.. I already did it way back when you hinted it in your blog but since you have formally announcing big news. I would also do the same thing formally. Wish you all the best… I can easily think what ahead for you since I have one cute 7 yrs old daughter and 2 yrs old terrorist. Hahhahha life will be full of fun… enjoy

i am afrist time reader and i have to say i am hooked…first let me offer you my congratulations on having a kid. would also like to applaud your brand of humour..seems to roll of so easily…
hope to visit many more times

Bobby: Yeah I agree..there was a time when everybody was guessing about it. Felt good, but I was under orders from Rekha and family not to reveal it…esp on the internet. Talking of mini Jammy…are you referring to somebody like Mini-me?

nina: It is indeed a great time for the wife to get her husband’s attention. Rekha has been trying very hard trying to puke and get my attention…but I have not turned my head away from the monitor.

Uma: The good thing is only the intelligent like you saw through the secret. And you calling ME the devil? Wait till you meet up with Rekha….
I pray to God that you meet her and know for yourself. Why shoud you get only the good things in life huh?

Sunny: thanks to you now I know that another word for pregnency is “Weighty”. So, can I say that Rekha is now weighty? I guess I can coz she has put on 4-5 kgs since getting pregnant!

Roshni: When I saw your comment I realized I have more lady readers than men. DO you think I should start writing about how men can torture their wives to get some men readers too?

priya: your friend gave you this url is it? I would say, you should immediately stop speaking to him/her and no longer call him/her your friend. He/she doesn’t have your good interests in mind!

kartik menon: looking forward to mis-leading you again. I am surprised…you came in for the first time here and hoping to become a regular reader. Some guts you have mate!

[…] # 1About Jamshed Velayuda Rajan # 2 Rekha is pregnant and happy # 3The Kingfisher Class – Part 1 # 4 A visit to Fan India, Chennai # 5 Married men need mistresses # 6 Getting to know sex thro’ Fashion TV Different types of fathers in law When the baby and the mother bond and forget the father The initial months of pregnancy Accepting gifts from relatives Once inside the Jet Airways Can somebody tell me what women want Inviting friends over Why should you marry the girl you love Sexual escapades of a married man Our visit to a gynecologist Trained Romance Making full use of the bath tub The art of swearing unnoticed Mother in law vs daughter in law When Rekha and I visited Mocha, Chennai A married man’s guide to safe and sound staring Am I a lesbian? Sex on television The origin and art of kissing Why do men always pee in the wrong place? I think I am pregnant Ten sentences you will never hear your wife say Much married, much harried A fat chance – never call your wife fat Valentine’s day is over. Phew! Ten reasons why you need a girl friend My world is suddenly crowded The conversation between Osama and Batman […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *