Jammy’s weakly predictions – Part 2

Libra (September 23 – October 23)

This is the time for buying books and getting more education. Working-men will show a keen interest in current education. Especially the book titled ‘Laws of Electricity`. As for the ladies…don`t worry you will continue to show interest in another book – your honey`s cheque book. You probably wonder what`s the connection between a balance (the symbol for Libra) and books….well…haven`t you read Rohinton Mistry`s novel titled ‘A Fine Balance`.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 21)

Scorpios brace up for tough times. You will be paying for all your bad deeds. If you or your wife deliver a baby …make sure not to pay a 21-gun-salute. The child might die of cannon-ball injuries. I also suggest that you play it low this week because your ‘Sting` will be missing. Your friend, who borrowed the Sting CD is most likely to elope.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just because nobody has ever complained that a parachute didn`t work properly…it doesn`t mean that all parachutes work properly. Be alert…don`t believe anybody. You will end up spending a lot of time in front of the television. In short it will be a half-baked week for you. “Why half-baked?” you might ask…and the answer is “because Television is a medium.”

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You will feel patriotic this week. If you end up on your deathbed in Pakistan you would die before being buried in the Pakistan. One good thing to come out of your death will be your whole family marveling at the strength of your human weakness. For those of you who are not in Pakistan…this week will involve a lot of spending. Try and finish this week within your income, even if it means borrowing from your friends.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

A survey conducted in Chennai suggests that there are very few Aquarians left in the city. Some attribute it to water problems…others to the lack of interest in maintaining an aquarium in one`s house. You will spend most of this week saying, “Damn!”. Exactly the same words a fish would say when it hits a wall under water.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You will be inventive the whole of this week. If being a scientist is not your taste, then you will at least tune a piano. But you can`t tuna-fish. You will get argumentive with your parents. So much so, you might even contest your father`s belief that paraffin are the fins on the sides of fish. With an instinct to explore you will also feel like gambling….but remember the World is not yet a bettor place yet.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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