Memory…

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
– Rita Mae Brown

Memory is a bad thing. Especially in relationships that involve a gentleman and a lady. Believe me. Or get married and find out for yourself.

July 5th is her Rekha`s birthday…and I have never been able to remember it. In the days of our courtship…I would always forget to wish her and face the wrath. But the effect was not much because I was still eating out in hotels. After marriage, I have realized that it is not a wise thing to do. So here is my formula to remember her birthday.

100 (the number of years Rekha wants to live with me) – 25 (my age when I first met her) = 75. In 75, seven is the month and five is the date. That gives me her birthday as 5th of July.

I agree there have been instances when I have bought the cake on 7th of May because I confused on what represented the month and what the date. On such instances I was forced to eat the cake well past midnight…after Rekha went to bed. And throw the rest after camouflaging it, lest she finds out.

The issue would have been of small concern had it been for just the birthdays and the anniversaries. Dates, and instances form a major part of a lady`s psyche. But for the men, they are mere dates and instances…which hold no value after they pass by.

My wife for instances remembers when we first met, what I first gifted her (I am just hazarding a guess here…I don`t think I have ever gifted her anything), where I first said “I Love You”…and how many times I said it. So much so, her reply to a simple question “How and where did you meet and get married?” would go on for three days. As for me…the answer is simple: “ohh…we met in Sify and courted for four years before Rekha begged me to marry her. Rest as they say is chemistry.”

I think marriage improves the memory of a lady and dulls that of a man. For example, when we were yet to propose…she would say: “Rajan, you are such a mess…I find it difficult to keep track of the girls you fall in love with.”

After marriage, she even knows what I like. Surprisingly, she does not remember what I don`t like. This is dangerous, because ladies can put this knowledge to economic use. Like that day when Rekha was ready for me with a bowl of kheer. I walked right into the trap, asking for a second bowl. Later, I would come to know that she wanted to me to accompany her to the Rajasthani Emporium to buy curtains for the house.

In a way…it is good that at least my wife has good memory. Will help my kids grow up to be good students. That is, if our kid happens to be a daughter.

Till then, I guess…the bad-memory Rajan and the good-memory Rekha will be strange bed-fellow!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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