Had it not been for the rain yesterday, I would have gone unwashed…unabashed. Luckily, just as I was leaving for my office, heavens opened up and gave me a shower that I desperately needed.

I would not blame Chennai for me not taking bath. Neither would I blame its iron-fisted ruler Miss (?!) J Jayalalitha. If you still think she is not iron-fisted, check out with The Hindu Editor N Ram. He knows.

I could give you reasons upon reasons for not taking bath –

1) The water did not come
2) My water-motor failed to start-up
3) There was no electricity, hence no water in the tank
4) I have a bandage around my stomach…and it should not get wet
5) I mis-placed my towel
6) There is no soap in the house…and I don’t use Surf.
7) I kicked the bucket and it leaks

But none of them are true. I did not take bath because ….ok…will save it for last.

Anyways, did I hear you say “Eeeks!”

Come on, do animals brush their teeth or do they take bath? Don`t they converse with their fellow beings? Don`t they flirt? Don`t they eventually end up having sex? And is not man an animal?

You might argue that a man needs to be clean and tidy. What about women? I have never known a lady who has taken bath twice in a week`s time. Atleast the strength of the perfumes they use make me believe so.

Moreover, I have have never known a lady that goes to the wash after sex. Come on…its dirty man. It was the 1970s when sex was dirty and the air clean. Today, the air might have become dirty…but sex has not gotten any cleaner.

I have always known man is supposed to help her reach her climax…but in my case…thanks to the dirty women I slept with, it was always an anti-climax.

Now-a-days, I have changed a bit..I stopped expecting these ladies to go to the wash after sex. Frankly, they have all left me and gone…probably to somebody who is not as clean-minded.

And as of now, my sex life is like Bridge. Don`t they say, in Bridge, if you dont have a good partner…you better have a good hand.

As for me not taking bath that day….do you still want to know?

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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