Trip or tripped?

If only I had held my head firm on my shoulders, I would not have been a part of this fiasco. But now, like a tree laden with mangoes during the summer, my chin is touching my chest in shame, for I was party to this beach-side party at Hotel Shelters, some 16 kilometers before Mahabalipuram.

It was a Saturday morning and I was in office, when Vishnu Ram said, they were planning a trip to either Mahabalipuram or Pondicherry. He wanted to know if I would be able to join in. And join I did.

How much I wish, he had stuck to his word and indeed made a trip to either of these places. But that was not to be and in the end I was poorer by Rs 1,340 and had also sliced one year off my life.

At the fag end of the trip did I realise these guys stay with their families and hence need a place away from home for puking out recently-eaten chicken tikkas with a sprinkling of vodka or whiskey or rum. Does the liquor type matter? Does the brand matter?

Anyways, I decided to go. And our pushpak-vimanam was Dinesh’s 14 year-old car. Due credit to the lady for bringing us back safely. I still don’t believe that we touched 100kms/hr!!

My partners in crime were Vodka Vishnu, Silly Satiesh, Volatile Vamsi, Driver Dinesh and Sunni Siva.

The Adayar Foodworld was raided first for snacks and liqour. The refined drinkers that we were, we wanted only Vodka..and the nine shops we stopped at – till we reached Mahabalipuram – could not quench our thirst, for Vodka was simply not available.

I should mention about this T.L.C. (see Top Left Corner of your keyboard), that we had when trying to take a U-turn near a FoodWorld on ECR. Driver Dinesh mis-calculated the speed of an oncoming car while taking the turn and and almost got Vamsi and Sateish killed and Vishnu and I crippled for life.

After going around Mahabalipuram (actually round and round), we were on the way back. We reached the Shelters, and I must tell you, it has been some time since, I have been addressed as “Sir.” I liked it. In the process, I got poorer by Rs 20, for I tipped two guys just 10 mins after entering the Beach resort.

We got drinking on the beach…an experince I thought was worth a lot…atleast till the time Satiesh decided to calculate the expenses and tell us what was due.

I will take many incidents from this get-together, to my grave. Not because they were memorable…but they are just too shameful to reveal. Like for example, Vinshu puking blood and Siva Prasad presenting his theory that it was because the cells on Vinshu’s oesophagus were disintegrating due to too much liqour.

Everything said and done, I have learnt my lesson. When a bunch of amateur drinkers decide to go places…better stay at home, gulp a few sips of Vodka and watch some porn. Chances are, they might be taking you for a ride!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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