Mind your manners

Today at office one gentleman yawned during a meeting. But he yawned with his mouth closed – a sign of good manners you would say. But is it actually good manners?

I wouldn`t mind if Aishwarya Rai or Vidya Balan (of Parineeta) tried to stifle a yawn…they would look pretty doing it. But have you ever seen a 45-year old man with beer cheeks hanging on two sides and a dumb-bell shaped moustache stifle a yawn? You would call it ugly.

Now, before you start yawning…let me be good mannered and start making sense.

Sometimes manners don`t get you anywhere. Like for example…that day in the bus when I said “Excuse me!” many times yet was caught in the middle when my bus stop came. I think it was when I shouted, “I am about to puke” that they made way. The moral is: When manners don`t get you anywhere, try getting dirty. Perhaps this is why some of the manners are also dirty. Ever seen a man (or woman) who has just blown into his (her) hanky? The next instant he/she tends to look into the hanky to see what they have just let out.

Sometimes good manners can be dirty but mind you bad manners kill people. I have this friend who works as a Chemistry lab assistant in a College. He has lost many friends because of one of his bad manner – he would fart in the open. These friends of his didn`t leave him because of his farts….but died when exposed to the fumes.

When I was in Canada (I had to bring this up because it has been a while since I have bragged about this trip), somebody once told me that the British always lied and the Americans always said the truth. I never believed it. Today, that I am a good-mannered gentleman…I understand that this Canadian guy was right. The Britishers lie to be polite (For eg saying “That`s a nice dress you are wearing” even if the dress is bad) while the Americans consider it a good manner to tell the truth.

I wonder what excuse do we Indians have…why do we lie? Maybe we have always believed in the adage “Let sleeping dogs lie.”

Many a times, I have wondered…does it make sense for me alone to be good mannered when Tom, Dick and Harry around me is bad mannered? Do I just smile at the bad mannered person and carry on? After all it takes only 113 muscles to give out a smile. Or do I pull the trigger….for when I googled, I found out that it takes only 4 muscles to pull the trigger!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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