If you don`t know who Narendra Modi is, you might want to visit his site here. And if you know him, I would suggest you stay away.
The whole of last week, this democratically elected representative of India (they want us to believe that) has been in the news because he was denied Visa by US of A. Surprisingly, the whole of India has rallied behind this epitome of religious tolerance. I did not expect so much support for this man – maybe because I am a Hindu religious fanatic. You can never believe men wearing glasses.
Here is a conversation between Narendra Modi and his wife. I don`t know if he is married…or he is staying in with somebody…but he did have this conversation. No, I did not have the luxury of a Video Camera, like India TV had while shooting Shakti Kapoor`s antics.
Scene: Modi`s lawn.
Time: 5.30 p.m.
Act: Tea-time conversation
Modi: Not bad huh?
Lady: Not bad at all. The whole country rallied against the US of A – the world`s only superpower, for somebody like you.
Modi: Are you hinting that it was not worth the effort?
Lady: No. But it sure was foolish.
Modi: Actually, I myself was surprised. The Indian Government ate from my hands.
Lady: By the way, did you see that cartoon in Hindu? It depicts you as the Statue of Liberty of India.
Modi: I wouldn`t blame the cartoonist. Maybe he remembered me torching that train in Godhra…and got inspired.
Lady: So, with all this support do we get to visit America? Your son Surendra wanted to buy those Blackberry to gift on his cousin`s birthday. It seems they are cheap in US.
Modi: We could always try getting a visa a second time. I also need to send a Thank You mail to Manmohan.
Lady: Poor guy. You played the ‘Indian` card and the BJP took over from there. And Manmohan Singh Government could not go against what was labeled as ‘Nationalism` and started supporting you.
Modi: Damn right. I need to do something in return.
Lady: Maybe we could get him a BlackBerry?
Modi: Nah…he is well above all that. We will have to get him a book written by Adam Smith if we want to impress him.
Lady: Now where would you buy all those expensive designer clothes?
Modi: Guess…we could look at all those Exports Garments shops that have sprung up in Ahmedabad.
Lady: The only problem is, most of these shops are in Muslim dominated areas.
Modi: I would rather stay away then.
Lady: I have a feeling US will now try and send spies to Gujarat and disintegrate you. BBC, a British site, has already put up a profile on you that says you have some connections with a poor lady from a Muslim area near Ahmedabad. They claim you married her.
Modi: They do? Don`t they know that I am an old RSS hand and have to maintain celibacy?
Lady: Maybe, you should put it up on your website. Makes for good reading.
Modi: The good thing is BJP is not in power now.
Modi: Last time such an insult happened to a democratically elected representative of the Indian Govt…the affected party was George Fernandez…remember he was frisked at the Kennedy Airport and not a soul said anything.
Lady: Anyways…I am only interested to know if we will ever be able to make it to the US. Coz, if we can`t..I might as well visit US with LK Advani. It seems he is flying to New York next Sunday.
Modi: He is? And has he got the visa?
Lady: I heard he has…
Modi: Funny….for I thought more people died as a result of Ram Mandir than those in Godhra.
Lady: I agree with you. US need to standardize its process.
Modi: Ok. I am going to the US Consulate…to apply for visa…you want to come?