The ‘rich’ experience

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
G. K. Chesterton (1874 – 1936)

I don`t know if you earn enough to visit the high-brow places where a pianist plays on his organ even as you go ahead with your dinner. I don`t.

Perhaps that`s why my whole family depends on my company`s largesse to take us to such places for sales meets and team building exercises. I say my whole family because, last time they said “I could bring along my spouse” I took along my whole family.

From the corner of the room, I could see my Sales Head trying to stare me down. For a moment I wondered why, but the smart man that I am, it took me only ten minutes to realize I was the only guy at the meet with my mother, two sisters and wife (and the neighbour`s kid who had never seen a five star hotel and thus wanted to come along).

I tried to stare back at the Sales Head, but he sure was an expert in intimidation. Finally, I surrendered and asked a waiter to hand over an apologetic note which said: “Not my mistake, when you said ‘bring along your spouse` I heard it as ‘bring along your house`.”

My family failed to merge with the crowd, but not before putting up a valiant effort. Once I had tipped my family to the kind of conversations, these business types have…my mother and sisters were raring to go.

Armed with the knowledge that these guys talk of what appears on NDTV Profits, my mother walked up to my sales head and said: “Did you see what lady reporter hosting ‘Breakfast with Profit` was wearing? I would die twice before wearing anything similar in public.” My Sales Head`s response didn`t excite my mother, who came back with the impression that all IIM people have issues mingling with the non-IIM crowd.

My sisters tried striking a conversation with my colleagues but believe it or not, none of them could keep up a conversation with my sisters on how to make Rasam and Sambar. This was not something I had bargained for…I was under the impression that all married men were exploited in the kitchen.

Our neighbor`s son salvaged the situation for me. He walked up to the sales head and asked him if he was Shaktiman. Everybody who had gathered around flattering him, laughed. When my Sales head also started laughing…the laughter among others also increased because flattery can get you places (and of course cabins).

Seizing the right opportunity, me, my mother and my two sisters sneaked out of the five star hotel….even as the piano man played in the background. Once we reach home, we have to send my neighbor to the party because in our hurry, we forgot to bring his son along.


By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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