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When it rains

Last night, it rained. This phenomenon doesn`t happen often in Chennai but when it does, it rains cats and dogs. In fact, today morning I spent half an hour removing cats and dogs from the clothes we had left outside for drying. During the exercise I also observed that wet clothes are a lot heavier. Perhaps that`s why rescuers find it difficult to lift people who drown in water and get their clothes wet.

Around 12 midnight, the sky had started thundering.

I once had an old, naughty grandpa who believed that the thundering sky was when God of Gods had a bad stomach. Immediately, we would ask him, “If that was what thunder was, what was lightening?”

He never gave us a satisfactory answer to this question, but I do remember him once winking at me and telling my younger sister: “That`s the whiteness of his potty you see when he opens his washroom door.”

As the thunder grew louder I could scarcely hear my neighbor snoring. I mean, I could still feel the apartment walls shivering…just that his snoring was inaudible. In the initial days of our marriage I wondered if it was my neighbor snoring or it was my wife. I didn`t have to wait long, for during one of my “I-am-a-crusader-of-truth” moments, I closed my wife`s mouth and nose for five minutes…and I could still hear the snoring. Finally, I had identified the culprit – it was my neighbor.

Getting back to the rain…after half an hour of rain…I decided to open the balcony and take a look. As soon as I opened the door, lightening stuck and there was brightness all over. At the spot where it stuck, it was all muddy (Thumbs Up advertisements were right!). I could see the muddy water because when lightening strikes it is like day light. Now, you know why lightening doesn`t strike at the same place twice – because there is no charge left after the first strike.

As I stood in the balcony enjoying the rain, my wife shouted at me and asked me to get some sleep. This is one of the disadvantages of staying in a small house…you are always within your wife`s reach. Sulking I got into the bed. Before marriage I enjoyed sleeping in a bed, but sharing it with somebody doesn`t appeal to me.

As I got into the bedsheets – yes, we have bedsheets at home, two of them – there was a loud thunder. Rekha immediately came closer and hugged me tight. I smiled, looked upwards (at the God with a bad stomach) and asked: “God, why doesn`t it rain often in Chennai?”
 

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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