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Rekha asked me in the morning “shall we go to play?” I said “sure…but why the sudden interest?”

All my life I have been a sportsman….from winning 1500m races in school to captaining Tamil Nadu`s KVS Kabaddi team at the Nationals…I have always been a sportive sportsman. Play is something that I think should be ingrained in every human born on the face of mother Earth.

We agreed that at 6.30 p.m. I shall pick her up and we shall go to the venue. At five I called her up and asked: “So, is there any dress code?”

“No dress code…but it would be better if you can wear something very fashionable or stick to a short kurta with a faded jean.”

I was surprised. Why should I be in a jean when going for play? But I am not used to questioning Rekha`s executive decisions so just nod my head and walk towards my wardrobe. I generally don`t rebel but today I was in a mood….perhaps it was that article I read about Aamir Khan`s movie on Mangal Pandey. Guess, I had chosen the wrong time to rebel.

I wore my blue and white tracksuit, put on my spikes (I prefer being rooted to the ground) and packed my bag with some Glucose, Iodex, towels, bananas etc. Like a Bullet Train, I was in front of Rekha`s office at 6.30 p.m..

God knows why but she was shocked when she saw me. I asked her.

“I asked you to wear a faded jean and short kurta. Or that one party shirt you bought five years ago. Why did you wear your tracksuit?”

“Whenever I play I wear my tracksuit. I am most comfortable in it. In fact I was wondering how you going to be comfortable in these tights.” I replied.

She gave me a big lecture. Eventually I would understand that we were not going to play…instead we were going to a play. Evam Indrajeet, a 40-year-old Bengali play written by Badal Sircar now translated in English by Girish Karnad. A real-time play like those written by William Shakespeare.

I am not much of a literary man. Neither is Rekha, though a few days back she decided to be seen as one. As proof I have all those kurtas that she has bought from the Rajasthani Emporium.

We trudge along to the Sivagami Pethachi auditorium – the venue.

The Play crowd is not my kind. I don`t know to drop names (in fact I know no names) and I don`t have opinions. In short…I don`t have what it takes to hang around with people for 30 minutes before a play starts and then sit for two hours while the play is on. At least, not with Rekha by my side.

I saw some amazing girls…some like mannequins…some like mermaids…some like servant maids…and some ready-made. If you are still-hunting for your prey, I would suggest you visit Plays.

The Play was good but there were no whistles and no vociferous clapping when the hero emerged. Nobody was reciting the dialogues before the hero-heroine delivered them, nobody was munching high-decibel pop-corn, there were so stunt sequence, no special effects, no songs, no climax where the villain kidnaps the hero`s girl friend….no nothing.

But on the personal front, I had a good time at the play. All the girls were looking at me…some even smiled. Some even came close and had a nice look. Wonder why. By the way, I was the only guy in a tracksuit in the auditorium.

Superman`s confidence has always left me in awe. It is not easy to wear your underwear over your trouser and yet walk tall on a busy road.

As if wearing ones underwear over ones trouser was not enough…he also had a big ‘S` for ‘Sucker` on his chest. Not to mention that red flowing ‘bridely` piece of cloth that follows him wherever he goes. Funny, he is considered the most macho man. No offense to Christopher Reeve, who played Superman in reel life and died a paralytic I real life. Ironies of life.

Somebody who can challenge Superman`s popularity is Spiderman. No, he is not a by-product of a relationship between a spider and a man…he was bitten by a spider and he went on to develop muscles and become the great weaver. Some even call him a spinner. No, he doesn`t play cricket. I have always had this doubt weather Spiderman would die if we spray Hit, the popular pesticide that is advertised on TV, on him.

When I was a kid, I tried to imitate him by sticking nicely chewed Big Fun (that was a popular chewing gum) on my wrists and trying to make a web. That`s when I realized being a Super Hero was not an easy life.

I also have severe doubts on Spiderman`s bathroom habits. Pray somebody tell me how he goes to the loo…I have never seen a zip in any part of this clothing. If I were him, and I were climbing the walls like he does..chasing criminals…I would make sure I had well-defined emergency ‘piss` facility. I don`t want to be chasing criminals on a 50-storied building and pissing in my pants.

Even Batman doesn`t have such a facility. But then, he sure is a man with some balls. If only he had a pair of stumps..he would be a cricketing institution in himself. Imagine…bat, ball and stumps. Why was he ever named batman? Couldn`t they get a better name? Something like a Parrot-man…or Peacock-man. Or if you are too much into science and think that a Bat (which is a mammal) has to be replaced only by a mammal…let us suggest Whale-man…or Gorilla-man…or for that matter a man-man. Wow…did not see that one coming! Lest we forget, Batman also believes in wearing his undies over his trousers.

Remember that cool dude who would stick to Batman…the same dude that pretty girls would swoon for? Our next-door neighbor Robin? His name irks me. Why wasn`t he named after a Woodpecker or a crow or a Kingfisher …at least Kingfisher would have added some kick to his existence.

(Off a tangent: I have to admit that for a long while I thought the book ‘Robinson Crusoe` by Daniel Defoe was actually ‘Robinson Curse` with a spelling mistake on the cover.)

Getting back to Super Heros…I wonder if Phantom can be seen in a mirror. Don`t they say that ghosts can`t be seen in the mirror? And if that is true, how does Mr Phantom dress up? How does he know which finger to wear his skull-ring on? I got to say here that the purple dress (ladies please excuse the men…we are color blind) doesn`t go too well with his muscles. And aren`t those goggles old fashioned?

Talking of being old fashioned, I think He-Man needs to grow up. You cannot always have a cat for a vehicle. Things change…now the villains are getting fission-powered vehicles that can have sex with other machines. Now, that`s what I can artificial intelligence. And you don`t win fights with swords anymore. My guess is he would have been really popular in the days of King Ashoka or Chandra Gupta Maurya – the days of the sword. Wonder why the emphasis in his name…can`t we see that he is a man?

A few days back while looking at Mallika Sherawat, I was reminded of Wonder Woman. In the good old days when the air was clean and sex was dirty… Wonder Woman was the only lady with a bra and a panty for clothes. Now, there are many. Most appear on Z-Music. I think being a fan of a lady super hero is passé. Now, the in thing is to adore your wife – the real super hero.

Rekha… Rekha…please can I have a beer this weekend?

I know numbers mean nothing…but this one is for the kicks.

In May, this Blog reached the 10,000 mark. With one more day to go for this month to be over…this Blog has received 10,263 Page Views.

The total number of visitors to this Blog in this month have been 3,863…and they went on to see 10,263 pages. Simple maths (with some help from a calculator) suggests that each person saw at least 2.7 pages.

I am having a beer tonight. No…the fact that I am getting my salary today has got nothing to do with my celebration.

A post on Super Heros like Superman, Spiderman, Batman etc to follow.

Rekha and I have started differing in our opinion. Not that we did not differ earlier. Now we differ more often.

We are yet to call each other and patch up.