Smokes, weather and flowers

Just so you know…I have quit smoking in office. There was a time, when I smoked 10 cigarettes a day…now it is just one or two. All this wouldn`t have been possible but for this colleague called Sunandini, who on seeing me smoking said: ‘Hey R-a-j-a-n! Your smoke is troubling me!”

It only took me a few micro seconds to come up with a repartee (probably because I had used it earlier many a times). I said: “Hey! It is not just troubling me but is killing me. And I am not complaining!”

Sunandini looked at me for a while, and said, “Make sure you tell your wife where the insurance papers are,” and walked towards her desk.

I remember, the day had been hot and our discussion drifted towards weather. I was defending the Chennai weather while the gentlemen from Gurgaon defended what they thought was right.

“Does Chennai have winter?” One colleague asked sarcastically.

“It doesn`t. But Chennai does have spring.” I replied with a glint of pride in my eyes.

“Spring? Wow man…when does it start and when does it end?” The second colleague asked.

I didn`t want to lie to my friends…so told them the truth: “To be honest…when spring came, I was in a conference call and by the time I got out of it…it was over.”

When I couldn`t convince them that Chennai was a happening place, we moved on to recycling as a concept that`s been picking up.

“Recycling? Oh that`s a fad in Chennai,” I took the lead.

Nirav was a tough guy…he wouldn`t believe me. “Recycling?”

I said: ‘Yes!”

“In Chennai?” He questioned my integrity.


“No way…the city is way too conservative to divide their waste into organic and inorganic.”

To give him an example of how motivated Chennaites are towards recycling…I narrated the story of one of my Yahoo! colleagues who wanted to re-use a man – she wanted to marry a man once married.

We discussed till we finished our smokes & crushed them under our feet and then threw the Frooti cartons over the wall.

On the way back to our desks, I met Sunandini again. I apologized for being rude.

“I am sorry mate. Can I get you flowers tomorrow?” I asked.

“Sure, I like roses,” she blurted out. She sure knew what she wanted.

You readers know me…I am not the type that goes around gardens killing plants and plucking flowers. So, I asked her: ‘There is a garden in my apartment…what time would be the best to pluck a rose?”

‘Well…the best time would be when nobody is looking!” She said but that hurt.

Tomorrow, I am going to have ten smokes…if there can be an eye for an eye….I am sure a lung for a lung also holds true.

Note: Flowers are actually prostitutes…what do you think the bees come for?

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

9 replies on “Smokes, weather and flowers”

Hey, hopped on your blog through adi crazy’s.. amazing stuff..Studies in Chennai for three years so can very well understand what you are talking about..:)

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