Quote Unquote

This is a ‘quote` special. The whole article has been done using quotes by famous personalities. See if you like it…if you don`t it probably means you are not a well-read person. Rekha did not like it.


A 73-year old Helen Hayes once said, “The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy”. I wonder if she got married when she was just ten. If not, why was her life so tough when she was just ten?

Anyways, would not force Ms Hayes to reveal the secret. Because I know toughness brings out the true character and value in a person. Even Rekha, the epitome of toughness, believes in what the absent-minded Albert Einstein said before walking his way: “Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value.” I wonder why should ‘values` be restricted to just the men?

Rekha thinks, if I go out and slog like a dog and bring home loads of money…I would become a man of value? Maybe. Maybe not. One can never be sure, because some women can keep secrets and they need to be left untouched. Hadn`t Oscar Wilde, after spending 35 years with his wife, ended up saying: “Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood”.

All would have been fine, if only I had a happy married life. But Rekha doesn`t entertain my advances. Does that mean she also believes in what the cranky novelist Mark Twain once said: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

And since, I am not a Gandhian…I threw Mahatma Gandhi`s belief that “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” to the winds and started admonishing her for her advances. Well, almost.

With little happening between us, I can now feel Rekha restricting my food intake. To top it, her cooking ensures that I am on a strict diet. It is probably, the reason why I am losing my paunch after marriage. One instance that questions the very foundation of Bob Hope`s view that “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” With a little more coordination, Rekha and I could prove Bob Hope terribly wrong.

Perhaps it is time for me to tell Rekha about this person called Zsa Zsa Gabor. The sex symbol of the 60s had once said: “Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.”

But can I quote Zsa Zsa Gabor to Rekha? Maybe not…for Alfred Hitchcock had some time back said “TV has brought murder back to where it belongs – the home.” And I have a TV at home.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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