Not all who smoke Gold Flake Kings, live life King-size. Well, at least not the ones those are married.
Not so long ago, I was a chain smoker. Now I am chained smoker.
From a cool sounding 15-20 cigarettes/day, to very modest 1-2 cigarettes a day, it has been a very steep climb down. Thanks to my wife, Rekha.
Before marriage, she liked me smoking. She loved the fact that I was macho (well, I know that`s debatable). She also loved to hold an unlit cigarette between her fingers and pose for the imaginary camera. Once she even said: “This smoking helps you keep your breath fresh.”
“Are you sure,” I had asked.
“Of course Rajan. I remember the time when you were trying to quit. Those were terrible times. Remember, I had even suggested you meet your dentist?”
I bought her logic, and continued smoking. But after marriage everything changed. Now she doesn`t want me to smoke. Credit to my negotiating skills and ability to lie-with-a-straight-face that I am still a smoker.
I have been smoking for the last twelve years and only recently have I come to know from her that smoking could lead to impotency. It seems, it is bad for the kid too.
Harping on the disadvantages of smoking, she continued: “It stains your teeth, air pipe, trachea and alveoli.” (Alveoli = air sacs in your lungs, where Oxygen mixes with blood)
Though, it left me wondering why would anybody be concerned about the stains on my trachea, I brought the count down.
Her logic is simple: she says she wants to die before I do. Now, I cannot go and tell her that the non-smoking Horse in Marlboro advertisements died first coz of passive smoking. Anyways, because of Rekha`s emotional, sentimental, historical, biological, geographical, economical and sociological blackmail, I have now brought down the count.
The irony is, there is nobody to question the ‘smoking` that happens when I speak to another pretty lady, or the amount of ‘smoking` that happens in the kitchen when she tries her hand at cooking!