Washing clothes & sins

There was a time when men chose between a wife and a washing machine. I myself, when young would joke about how I intended to marry early because I did not like washing clothes.

I hated Surf washing power and the blue colored Rin detergent because they made my hand rough. Washing also meant, identifying the dirty clothes thrown all over my room from the cleaner ones that were left on the bed. Once the clothes to be washed were identified, I needed to fill a bucket with water clean enough to clean the clothes. The washing powder had to be thrown in the bucket and given a nice whirlwind tour of the bucket`s insides. And then, I had to soak the clothes in the solution.

Technically, I had to wash the clothes after 30 minutes of soaking. But that never happened. So much so, there were times when I washed after one week. It made a lot of sense, because the toughest of strains would vanish. In-your-face colors would lighten up and seem refreshing. A cotton shirt that once went through a seven-day treatment is today being used as a vest.

Washing was so much of detest that when two visitors came to my house one day and said: “If only you agree, Jesus Christ can give you eternal life.”

I said: “That is fine. I Don`t think I can stand it.”

If you are young and unmarried, you probably think you could get married and solve all your washing and drying problems. You are highly mistaken…maybe yes…if you were a girl…then you do solve all those problems. But if you are a guy, you will end up washing her clothes too. And when the kid comes, the Little Master`s shitty attire will also be cleansed by your highness.

But, I have always thought that it is the women who should be doing the washing. If the women folks get pretty upset, the men could offer to do the ironing…that way we could iron out the differences.

Rekha and I have been married for the last 98 days, and that is time enough for the lady of the house to shift the washing responsibilities on able shoulders – like those of mine. Though I carry out the duties bestowed on me by Her Majesty, I still believe it is the women who should do the washing.

Even Darwinian Theory of Evolution points to the same. Why do you think women have smaller feet? The answer is simple…. because it helps them stand closer to the washing machine while dropping in the clothes!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

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