Spectator sportsman

Jawahar Lal Nehru said in sports participation was more important than winning. I beg to differ. Watching sports is more important than participating. Ask anybody who stays in the CAS-affected Chennai and I am sure you will see many heads nod.

Some of you may place the blame on me being a mere spectator on my height (165 cms), which is slightly more than that of Napoleon Bonaparte. I assure you it is not the case. Some of the world`s best athletes have been short. Take Raj Kiran in the Hindi movie Hip Hip Hurray (also starring Shafi Inamdar, Deepti Naval) or Aamir Khan in Lagaan….both were short.

Neither can you place the blame on my laziness. Some great sportsmen have been the laziest. Anand Vishwanathan, for instance. He doesn`t budge from his seat during matches. Also, Mohammed Ali…who they say moved as slow as a butterfly and could only sting like a bee. He should have donned a pair of boxing gloves and tried to hit instead of trying to sting.

In short, I am not to be blamed for being glued to the Sports channels on TV. Sports is in my blood. My father was always glued to the TV…but he was more into the sport called ‘walking`. Perhaps, that`s why we always caught him watching Fashion TV.

I am a fierce competitor. I know looking at the innocent face displayed atop this page you don`t believe that I am a fierce competitor. But I sure am. For instance, I am all set for the Liverpool vs TNS match scheduled for the 2nd week of July. I am so set that I have already bought the colors of both the teams. After finding out the favorite (by reading the newspapers) I will paint myself in the respective colors. The only problem is, if the other team leads at halftime I won`t have anybody to help me wash my painted face…and apply colors of the second team.

I am also a very physically fit sportsman. While watching a game of soccer, which lasts for 90 minutes…I can gobble up two egg puffs, one black forest pastry, couple of Lays packets and one liter of Coke. Not to mention the cheese cubes I reserve for tense moments from when my team starts losing, and I shift loyalties to the other.

Like I said, I am a true-blue sportsman and spend most of my time watching sports on TV. Just that the referee cries foul saying she wants to watch all those stupid mega serials they start broadcasting at 8 p.m. sharp!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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