Top Secret — For Your Eyes Only

US President George Bush`s administration has spent more than $88 million on public relations in 2004. A major part of this money is spent on columnists who write against him – by buying their integrity with loads of cash (sometimes more than $ 20,000). This column has been written in order to catch the US President`s eye…and convince him that my views matter…thereby forcing him to buy my silence.

Does anybody know where the Weapons of Mass Destruction are? Not the ones in the magazine Playboy, but the ones supposedly hidden (and not used) by Saddam Hussein.

Having followed the un-biased reporting in Fox television for years, I know for sure that the most powerful man on Mother Earth – US President George Bush, doesn`t know where the WMDs are. Neither do his entourage of Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell and Donald Rumsfeld.

A few tyrants & traitors have been insisting that WMD were never there and it was just an excuse to dethrone a wily old fox called Saddam. These views add salt to the wounds of the US Soldier, who has been fighting a very slick war for the last year or so. Don`t they say crude is slick?

Saddam is a mass-murderer. He killed millions and for no reason. The US Prez, on the other hand is a savior. He saved the world from an almost-certain atomic bombing by the Iraqi dictator and in the process saved numerous lives. It is another thing that Iraq has so far lost one million civilians and 5000 US soldiers have either died or have been wounded.

A few American citizens believe that Iraq is going to be another Vietnam. Those that don`t believe so are named George Bush and Dick Cheney. In case you believe in coincidence, you might want to know that before he became Bush`s running mate, Dick Cheney was CEO of Halliburton, a Texas-based oil company. And as luck would have it, Halliburton was given a no-bid contract to rebuild Iraq. Here is another coincidence: A lot of money is involved in the contract.

The Economics of War has attained a completely new meaning. Somebody once said: “The great thing about wars is that when they are over, no one talks about it. Instead, they make documentaries.” How wrong. I thought, after the war was over…they made money.

I admire the US President – a very determined fellow. He wanted to bring peace to the World and he brought. When the United Nations (UN) was against peace (by refusing to bomb Iraq), Bush decided to do it by himself. Ohhh…how can we forget his ‘Best Man` Tony Blair.

Now that Iraq has been torn down like wallpaper from the crumbling walls of a Texas home, Bush wants to use United Nations` ability to raise money. He wants UN to lend a hand in Iraq`s recovery. The man knows the art of delegation, huh?

The Americans who like me, followed Fox News` unbiased coverage of the Iraqi war probably think United Nations is an enemy. The President sure has confused his countrymen by asking United Nations to help him rebuild Iraq.

Is there anything bad the US President has done in the last four-five years? Yes, he has helped in Sunnis and Shias coming together to fight the US occupation.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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