What if I was born in 2050 A.D.?

I don`t know why, but since yesterday I have been feeling that maybe I should have been born around 2050 A.D. As if having an Army man father and a housewife for a mother wasn`t bad enough….I was born in 1975 – the un-coolest of all years. I say un-coolest because that was also the year the below given happened:

• A state of Emergency was declared in India
• US of A`s first Game Show ‘Wheel of Fortune` premiered on NBC, kicking off a culture we would love to hate
• Sharp teeth became the sign of defiance with the release & subsequent success of Steven Spielberg`s movie ‘Jaws`
• Hillary Rodham made the mistake of marrying Bill Clinton

(During my research, I also found out that actress Preity Zinta is three months elder to me – yes, she was born on Jan 31, 1975)

Let me clarify that I wanted to be born in 2050 A.D. not only because 1975 A.D. was such an un-cool year but also because I am a man for the future.

Imagine, getting up without the hangover (I am hoping by then the scientists would come up a whiskey that doesn’t leave a hangover in the morning!) and walking straight into your environment-friendly washroom.

Even as you sit on the potty, the gobar gas that is being created is converted into energy, thus powering the digital newspaper mounted on the washroom door which you are facing. Since you don`t need to turn the pages of this digital newspaper…digging one`s nose, which is a National pastime in some countries, isn`t an issue.

The environment-friendly potty of yours diverts the flush water (hoping you would flush after you are done) to the coffee maker, which brews up a strong coffee to your liking…so when you leave the washroom you have a mug in your hand. How things change in hundred years – back then, our ancestors would enter the washroom with a mug (of water).

Because of scarcity of water and clean outdoors, bathing will be a thing of the past. Deodorants will come in fragrances of Printer Ink, Letter Head, Fresh Macintosh. Don`t believe me? Try soaking in their smell…it is addictive. And I am sure by 2050 A.D. there will be enough demand.

After a quick deo-spray, I would be ready for office. Since, all the BPO workers would have been raped and murdered no BPOs would exist, and I would probably still be helping build online properties.

Since all my colleagues would have been killed either by AIDS, Bird Flu or the BlueLine busses (and those that were left out in the race to heaven would have died on the way to the hospital cursing themselves for buying Tata Nano) I would be a lonely man. I wouldn`t like to go to office, but when the time came …would attach myself to an e-mail and dispatch myself to my official mail ID only to be downloaded there. I don`t for a second doubt Sabeer Bhatia`s son`s ability to come up with a mail service that will help individuals to attach oneself to a mail ….but I do doubt his ability to transport me with all my clothes on. Note: Keep a pair of clothes in office.

Once in office I will finish my work quickly and start watching Dev Anand`s romantic movies – that`s hoping he doesn`t stop making movies when he is 127 years old (that`s how old he would be in 2050 A.D.).

Once the movie is over, I will switch on my i-Pod Atom (that`s how small the i-Pods will become) and start listening to music. At the rate at which lyrics are getting insignificant, in 2050 A.D. there will be no lyrics in movie songs and thus I will be able to enjoy songs from even Bhojpuri movies.

F*&^ this post is going nowhere – maybe the time I am spending on the treadmill is making me less creative. Note: Need to try this as an excuse tom.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.

18 replies on “What if I was born in 2050 A.D.?”

[…] esbsummvqn wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptHillary Rodham made the mistake of marrying Bill Clinton. (During my research, I also found out that actress Preity Zinta is three months elder to me – yes, she was born on Jan 31, 1975). Let me clarify that I didn’t want to be born in … Read the rest of this great post here Posted by […]

No No. Bhaiya, using the treadmill or exercising in any form reduces the supply of blood to the brain. So eat lot’s of machili, no not machini and also eat cerelac(please dont steal from rhea).Looks like I will have to put up that cut out of yours soon. Do you have any preferred location???In Chennai ofcourse…

Pooh jee but how can rekha/ rea come in pic; 2050 mr. jam will be just born; they will come only in 2080

anyways i feel jam that the blood has gushed inside your brains to write so fantastically;

the pain is felt when u write about bpo

How about writing about health illness in your article; thats also part of life; i think you sure can write something humours on it; it will cheer up your readers who feel down when illness strikes them

actually 1975 wasn’t that bad a year. Sholay was released!

And not taking a bath even in 2050 is so gross!! interestingly, i had written a post on how to make the treadmill and working out generally more interesting.

Hey man…been reading your stuff a lot…I am impressed by the quantity, variety, and over all quality of your work.
I just started my blog two weeks ago, and find many similarities and of course differences.
take a look

Your posts are so interesting. And you seem to have an odd obsession with deodorant… Anyway, you’re not the only one who wishes they were born in 2050. Only, I have totally different reasons. [=

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