Man is a born businessman!

I think man is a born businessman. As soon as he is born he starts crying for attention and when the doctor gives him a blanket for free…he stops crying.

All you feminists out there, please bear with me. Though I mention him/he/man etc…I don`t mean to be unfair. I am referring to both man and woman here….just that it is a big pain to mention he/she, him/her, man/woman…everywhere.

As the kid grows old…his business instincts only improve. When the kid is only three years old he learns that the bigger the toy the more its cost. At four, he learns that the most economical buy with a one rupee coin is “Boomer.” It gives you pleasure for three hours (if you don`t take into account the wrapping it in paper and chewing it again, act) as against an Eclairs which melts in your mouth before you have said, “Mama, I bought an Eclairs.”

When in first standard he learns to bargain with the teacher: “Madam, will you make me the class-monitor if I stay quite?” The less ambitious settle for benefits like rubbing the boards clean, carrying the note books to the staff room…and not being questioned in class.

I think it begins in class six….bargaining with the girls. “Ok, I will let you take my geometry box…what do I get in return?”

“You know in our school we can borrow only one book every fortnight. I can borrow my quota of Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew and give it to you. What say?”

When in ninth standard, he starts bargaining with the bus wala. “Uncle, I did not bring any money today. Can I buy the tickets tomorrow?”

The unsuspecting conductor is more than welcome to help a student willing to study. For the whole of next week this kid avoids Bus Number 22. Since kids grow at an alarming rate…when this conman-in-the-making climbs the same bus one week later…the conductor can hardly recognize him.

By the time he reached the 12th grade…he has become an expert in Economics. The stupid-rich guy takes the intelligent-poor guy all over the city in his Mercedes. In turn, the intelligent-poor guy helps him out inside the examination hall.

The street-smart kids take these lessons in Economics to college. The not so smart – like me – join BA Economics. There is not much Economics to be learnt in college…perhaps because we get swayed by this concept called friendship – where money, relations, time, study….don`t matter.

After college, it is work…and after work …parents ensure that it is marriage. In marriage…most of us make a lot of money because economic sense prevails.

After marriage, life takes a turn towards Economics. Every move of his has to be watched…if not by him…his wife. Or vice-versa.

Even before you realize…time passes …you have kids….who find jobs ….and …leave you….and you become a failing entrepreneur.

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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