My work interfered

My apologies. I was held up with work. Not my fault. Who doesn`t get held up with work. At last count more people get held up due to work than those due to traffic.

I love it when somebody calls out “T.G.I.F” when I enter office. It is a sweet smelling, melodious word which means “Thank God, It is Friday.” I accept, sometimes, I have to remind them that it is not Friday yet. How do I remind them? “S.H.I.T” is the abbreviation, which means, “Sorry Honey, It is Thursday”.

My Monday fever rises to such levels that on Mondays I walk into the office with a resignation letter. Enough of these 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. jobs, I tell myself, and walk in. But soon the dust settles down and by afternoon…I am ready for another week`s haul.

I once tried setting up a business and went to my Bank manager for advice.

“How do I set up a small business?” I asked him.
“Simple. Buy a big one, and wait.” He replied.

But I didn`t get de-motivated. I walked up to an entrepreneur friend of mine and initiated small talk.

“So how is business?”

“Business is looking up,” he said. I detected some anguish in his tone and probed him further.

“If business is looking up, why are you upset?”

He chided me for not getting the joke. And later clarified that when somebody says that “business is looking up” it means the “business is lying on the floor…flat on its back”.

Ever since, I have decided to quit trying to be an entrepreneur and concentrate on my 9.a.m. to 5 p.m. (this timing is only namesake) job.

I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine who works for a top IT company. We had met up after three years at the Central station in Chennai…and could catch up only for a few minutes.

Me: Hey, where have you been all this while?
Friend: Bangalore.
Me: Working somewhere?
Friend: Yes at [Beep].
Me: That`s really good. How long have you been working for them?
Friend: Ever since they threatened to sack me for non-performance.
Me: How is the work atmosphere?
Friend: It was good till the time they found out I had given 5 years experience, when I actually had only one.
Me: What did you say when they enquired?
Friend: I told them, their advertisement mis-lead people like me by saying they were looking for people with imagination and creativity.
Me: You are intelligent.

That was all we could speak before we realized my friend`s train to Banglore had already taken off.

Talking of pre-employment blunders …recently I saw an advertisement seeking drivers for the top executives in the company. It said:

Drivers Wanted. At least five years of experience. Should be willing to travel.

I wonder if there can be any driver on duty who is not traveling! As an extension of the above advertisement, the day is not far when we see adverts like –

Developers Wanted. At least three years of experience. Should be willing to code!

By Jamshed V Rajan

Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at or message him at +919650080255.

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