The Kingfisher Class – Part 1

I never knew red could be such a pretty color. I realized the beauty of the color after seeing the pretty Kingfisher air hostesses clad in red mini skirts with calf muscles like those of Carl Lewis.

As the taxi driver entered the Kamraj Domestic airport in Chennai, I said: “Drop me near the Kingfisher counter.”

He looked at me in the centrally mounted rear view mirror and smiled.

“What?” I asked. Trying to unravel the mystery.

“Sir, you are lucky. You are traveling by Kingfisher Airlines. Is it the first time for you?”

“Yes.”

The driver gave me an I-know-it-all smile and asked: “How long did I take you to save the money?”

“What do you mean?” I had to use up as much time as possible. I was at least 4 hours early – one of the disadvantages of too much onsite travel. In dreams, that is.

“Sir, I once dropped a Kingfisher air hostess in the airport and she looked like an angel. When I inquired around, my fellow taxi-walas said the Kingfisher flights are full of such angels.”

“OK and…”

“So, without my suspecting wife`s knowledge I saved twenty rupees everyday and within a year`s time I had enough money to fly the Kingfisher class. I saw six angels and enjoyed my trip.”

“Am glad you liked the Kingfisher experience.” I wondered what all pleasures the taxi driver had to forego to save all the money.

“Sir, you didn`t answer me yet. How long have you been saving for this trip?”

I found it below my dignity to answer this question. Without as much as glancing at him, I picked up my bags and started walking towards the airport.

After the screening of my bag, I met the first angel. She was at the check-in counter.

“Good morning angel!” I sent in my love-filled wishes.

“Good morning sir.”

“Here is my e-ticket. My boarding pass please?”

“Can I have your photo identity card?”

This always happens with me – more often than not girls give in to the temptation and ask for my photograph.

I took out my passport which had a color photograph of mine and handed it to her. I could see love in her eyes as she stared at my photograph for a long time.

“You can keep it if you want,” the magnanimous Jammy said. It didn`t matter that I would have to file an FIR in a police station saying I had lost my passport and get a duplicate issued. It was trouble worth undergoing for the angel sitting in front of me.

“Sir, this is your passport. You will need it more that us. Anyway, it was only for identification. Any bag you want to check-in?”

“Check in?” I wasn`t sure what she meant.

“Any baggage you want us to carry for you?” She re-phrased her question. Her properly trimmed eye-brows excited me. Her red lipstick seemed to be in place only to arouse me. The blushes on her cheeks intensified when she spoke to me.

“I usually don`t carry baggage….but for you I can make an exception. When would you want to jump into my arms?”

“Excuse me?”

I was about to come up with a smart reply when I saw two huge Kingfisher Male stewards walking towards me and asking in a programmed for trouble makers voice: “Problem here, sir?”

I didn`t utter a word. They stared at me, I looked away. In such circumstances, it is best to remain quite, look confident and accept defeat. Especially in India, where totally unrelated-to-the-incident people wait with fingers crossed to beat up an unsuspecting romantic.

With the two bouncers from Kingfisher Airlines waiting close by, the angel checked in my luggage and gave me the boarding pass.

Part Two will be uploaded shortly and will dwell on what happened inside the Kingfisher Airlines` flight

While you are at it, why don’t you check out this amazing cartoon on airport security. Click Here