Everybody vs IIPM

This is the latest update from the Blog World. And it is big.

Phase 1

Editor of the JAM magazine for youth Rashmi Bhansal writes an article on IIPM`s tall claims in its print advertisements.

The three different parts of the article were – The Rankings | The Degree | The Placements

Phase 2

Gaurav Sabnis an IIM Almuni working for IBM links the article on IIPM`s tall claims in its print advertisements from his Blog and sounds out.

Phase 3

IIPM`s legal dept sends a ‘judicially notarized` and ‘tagged to validate receipt and response` mail to Rashmi Bhansal and Gaurav Sabnis and asks them to take back their words and apologise.

On the same day a few Blogs pop-up supporting IIPM. A few suspect that it could be IIPM itself trying to control damage…a few others believe them to be genuine IIPM supporters.

Wonder if IIPM has seen this post by God-knows-who who has a Blog titled “The Truth About IIPM”

IIPM also sends notice to Varna, a blogger who supports Gaurav Sabnis` cause.

Phase 4

Gaurav Sabnis resigns from IBM. According to his this post he did so because he did not want IIPM to carry out its threat of burning IBM ThinkPads in front of his IBM office.

Gaurav Sabnis` professor at his Management School jumps in for his student and comes up with a post in which he calls Arindam Chaudhuri a conman. He is yet to get a legal notice.

Desi Pundit comes up with an exhaustive time line of the incident…

Phase 5

Watch this Blog for some more kickboxing!

Treadmill and its implications

We have arrived in life. Rekha and I are now proud owners of a treadmill.

On Friday evening I had washed my running shoes and left them for drying.

The treadmill was bought on 8th Oct (Saturday) and was delivered home at 2.30 p.m.. Since my running shoes were still wet I had to wear my black-leather shoes to jog on the treadmill. Rekha, for whom we were to buy running shoes in the evening, couldn`t wait and ended up using the same black-leather shoes.

After two hours of running…at 4.30 p.m…. we realized that in our excitement we had forgotten lunch. Pizza was ordered. Since Rekha refused to get off the fitness equipment, pizza and coke were delivered on the treadmill.

It must have been 11 p.m. when we agreed to get off the treadmill. And anyways in the eight hours of running we had realized that in a treadmill you only run and run and run and run and run and go nowhere!

Our intensity didn`t come down on Sunday. On Monday we hired Professional Movers & Packers to pack and transport us to our respective offices. It was a good deal…they even agreed to bring us back in the evening.

According to my Physical Education teacher (who still thinks the World is flat…it is another thing that the football field is his World)…it takes more than 12 hours for lactic acid to form in overworked muscles. It happened a little sooner for us. Half-way through the day my legs started paining. I could not move…and for a while I had to get into an unoccupied washroom and sit on the potty. I did look for an occupied potty (we could have chatted a while even as we sat) but the occupants were not willing. Pity, that was the time my boss had to call me up for a lecture on “standing on my own legs.”

Rekha also faced similar problems. But being the polished lady that she is…she bit her tongue and endured the pain. We are going to a tongue-twister-ologist tomorrow.

We didn`t resort to treadmilling – that is running on the treadmill – (it is an equivalent of ‘Googling`) on Monday. Guess, because of the excruciating pain that accompanied any movement of the limbs.

Monday evening…and Monday night and Tuesday`s pre-dawn hours were spent in front of the TV watching a channel called “God-10″…by mistake we had placed the TV remote three meters away… thus couldn`t change the TV channel.

Rekha now resembles Katrina Waif and I look like Waif Ali Khan. And it has been 52 hours since we last touched our new treadmill. No wonder…when intelligent people see treadmills, they start running!

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Jammy’s weakly predictions – Part 2

Libra (September 23 – October 23)

This is the time for buying books and getting more education. Working-men will show a keen interest in current education. Especially the book titled ‘Laws of Electricity`. As for the ladies…don`t worry you will continue to show interest in another book – your honey`s cheque book. You probably wonder what`s the connection between a balance (the symbol for Libra) and books….well…haven`t you read Rohinton Mistry`s novel titled ‘A Fine Balance`.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 21)

Scorpios brace up for tough times. You will be paying for all your bad deeds. If you or your wife deliver a baby …make sure not to pay a 21-gun-salute. The child might die of cannon-ball injuries. I also suggest that you play it low this week because your ‘Sting` will be missing. Your friend, who borrowed the Sting CD is most likely to elope.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just because nobody has ever complained that a parachute didn`t work properly…it doesn`t mean that all parachutes work properly. Be alert…don`t believe anybody. You will end up spending a lot of time in front of the television. In short it will be a half-baked week for you. “Why half-baked?” you might ask…and the answer is “because Television is a medium.”

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You will feel patriotic this week. If you end up on your deathbed in Pakistan you would die before being buried in the Pakistan. One good thing to come out of your death will be your whole family marveling at the strength of your human weakness. For those of you who are not in Pakistan…this week will involve a lot of spending. Try and finish this week within your income, even if it means borrowing from your friends.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

A survey conducted in Chennai suggests that there are very few Aquarians left in the city. Some attribute it to water problems…others to the lack of interest in maintaining an aquarium in one`s house. You will spend most of this week saying, “Damn!”. Exactly the same words a fish would say when it hits a wall under water.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You will be inventive the whole of this week. If being a scientist is not your taste, then you will at least tune a piano. But you can`t tuna-fish. You will get argumentive with your parents. So much so, you might even contest your father`s belief that paraffin are the fins on the sides of fish. With an instinct to explore you will also feel like gambling….but remember the World is not yet a bettor place yet.

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Jammy’s weakly predictions – Part 1

This astrologer friend of mine used to write weekly horoscopes. For reasons unknown to the junta he has now stopped.

Like anything else associated with me, the below given weekly predictions have no rhyme or reason. They will ‘definitely’ come true…so take it with a pinch of salt.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

The week will be good. I mean, what better way to lose the battle than lose it at home. If you want to land in office safe and sound, buy your wife that expensive fire extinguisher she has always wanted. It is another thing that she might never use it and later call you an extravagant.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This is my sign so I better be good. You might buy a car this weekend. Perhaps even a battle tank if you live in Afghanistan. If you live in Iraq…duck now…a grenade has just been hurled at you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)

Beware of your twin for he might be after your girlfriend. If you were born single…try and get a partner. It isn’t a great idea to be living alone at 35 with just a sports channel, pizza and a bottle of Coke for company. All you Gemini girls…shift to some other sign.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

This week sea is where you should be headed. Afterall, crabs live in the sea. If you are a man don’t go near the Naval headquarters …they could turn you into seamen (hope you got the pun regarding naval & seamen). That is if you don’t want to create waves.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The issue with lions is no one wants to follow their tracks. You will also feel the same this week. If ever you meet some old friend never
say: “I passed your house last evening.” For he/she is bound to reply: “I appreciate it.”

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you are a lady you are a safe Virgo. But Virgo men beware…especially if you are married…for your wives will be very calculative this week. Even to the extent of using a bow and arrow to kill you, just so they don’t wake up the kids with a gunshot in the middle of the night.

Predictions for the next six signs will put up on Saturday morning.

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Name calling

Found some interesting quotes on “Names”. Yes, names. Here they are –

Mr Ball? How very singular.
– Tomas Beecham

Some people have difficulty deciding on the name for their new-born baby. Some have rich relatives.
– Don McElroy

The batsman`s Holding the bowler`s Willey.
– Brian Johnson
[The commentator was trying to explain that Holding was batting and Willey was bowling]

And here is a conversation overheard –

Character One: Surely you can`t be serious?
Character Two: I am serious. And don`t call me Shirley.

A con-call

Have you ever had a boss who works out of another city? Or have you interacted with a client living across seven seas? If yes, chances are you have attended conference calls.

Don`t ask me why they are also known as con-calls….

In my earlier job (with so many bloggers asked to leave by their companies, can I talk of my present company?!) I once had to attend a con call. The boss was in Secunderabad and wanted me to start work on a website building project immediately.

The call was scheduled for 5.30 pm. – the time when most senior people get creative and make the middle-level stay late.

I had decided to confuse my boss so much that he would himself suggest that we initiate the process after he comes back to Chennai. Here is how the con-call went –

Boss: Rajan, we will have to start the website building project. The files and creative are on the server. Download them and initiate the proceedings immediately.

Me: Mr XXX, why can`t we wait till you come back? We can jump off the bridge when we come to it.

Boss: No, I will be scouting for some more clients. And will be late.

Me: Better late then never.

Boss: Who is the boss here?

Me: You.

Boss: Good. Before you get working on the new project, make sure you show the prototype you built to the earlier client?

Me: I showed them the prototype. They say it is not as bad as they say it is.

Boss: What?

Me: They say it is not as bad as they say it is.

Boss: Whatever that means. OK…I need a commitment from you …when can we deliver the new client`s website?

Me: I can answer in two words. Im-possible.

Boss: I want you to deliver it by the 18th of this month.

Me: I give you my definite, maybe.

Boss: Be sure Rajan. Because I need to mention the delivery date. It is no paper & ink contract…but a verbal contract.

Me: Did you know that a verbal contract is not worth the paper it is written on.

Boss: Something is wrong with you….I am not able to tell. Are you sure you want to work on this project?

Me: Mr XXX, include me out.

I heard a click from the other side. The next day HR contacted me. They said I didn`t have to serve the notice period.

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Getting a treadmill for the house

Girls always put on weight after marriage. Men lose flab if they take lunch to office…or gain weight if they eat out during lunch breaks.

The issue compounds when both the husband and wife work in IT companies where, even if one doesn`t have work one is forced to hang on till 7 p.m. and leave after the boss`s car rolls out of the entrance.

With 8-30 a.m.-8 p.m. out-of-home schedules it becomes difficult to take time out for the other partner…leave alone for yourself. For example, it has been 97 days since Rekha (my wife) left me alone for more than 39 seconds at a stretch. 98 days back she had once left me alone for 45 seconds. Perhaps because we have only two hours to spend together before we hit the sack and dream of better days and then get up to go to the office again.

Thus, getting up early and going for a jog…or having an early dinner and going for a walk is ruled out. Enter the treadmill.

“Why don`t we buy a treadmill?” It was Rekha.

“For what?”

“Cutting down the flab, of course. You need to.”

“So do you!” I scream.

“I know, but you need it more than I do.” Rekha retorts.

“A motorized treadmill could cost us anywhere between 25K to 30K. And none of our neighbors have it. So why us?” I try to wriggle away.

“Money shouldn`t be the criteria. Health before wealth.”

“That`s true. But Kiruba has just bought an Accent. I think we should go in for a car… and try and keep up.” These kinds of arguments sometimes win the case for men.

“Hmm…” (For a moment, I thought I had convinced her)

I tried to persist: “And anyways where do we have the time to use a treadmill?”

“We could use it while we watch TV.” Rekha was quick as ever.

“That means, we get a TV before we buy a treadmill?” I tell her.

“Precisely. I heard Dish TV is damn good. Some good channels they have.”

“You can`t always rely on Television for your work-outs. Good programs are always around dinner time…and you won`t be able to exercise then.” I try to reason out.

“We could buy an I-Pod. I could listen to music and exercise…thus we won`t be dependent on TV alone.”

She was gaining ground quick. The bill had run up to 30K (treadmill) plus 20K (a 19 inch TV) plus 5K (Dish TV) and 8K (an I-Pod). Since I was an intelligent man…I stopped the conversation and agreed to her four requests. We are starting off from the bottom…and buying the I-Pod tomorrow.

Why should you marry the girl you love?

I know most men have faced this dilemma. Should we marrying the girl we love or should we move on to greener pastures?

If you ask me, I would say…don`t get into a relationship…but if you have already committed the mistake…don`t stop…marry the girl you love. It makes economical, political, social, religious, civic and geographical sense.

If you didn`t marry your girl and she ends up marrying another gentleman… you are sure to get an invite. You would have to buy a present. Add the present`s cost to the transportation cost to the marriage hall… all build up…and I am sure it is bound to put you back by quite a sum. Inference: The best thing about marrying the girl we love is, it costs less.

Here is a conversation between a husband and wife married for two years –

Husband: Honey, pass me the toothbrush.

Wife: Get it yourself you idle man.

Husband: Did you say Idol?

Wife: Idle.

Husband: But before marriage you considered me your idol.

Wife. That was a mistake. But not my only mistake.

Husband: Now, what is this second mistake?

Wife: I always thought you could take control of any situation.

Husband: What about it now?

Wife: But after marriage, I have found that you are controlling and manipulative.

Husband: Well…you have changed too.

Wife: How so?

Husband: Earlier you said I take your breath away…

Wife: That`s true. But now you suffocate me.

Husband: Precisely. Before marriage, at dinners you would goad me to eat more. Now, you only give me a sandwich or some salad.

Wife: Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?

Husband: I have. But I don`t look fat.

Wife: Well…this is one of the many instances when we don`t agree.

Husband: Yes…before marriage we used to agree on everything.

Wife: That was like a dream….and now you have made it a dorm.

Husband: I am the same man, you didn`t believe you had found for yourself.

Wife: Now, I can`t believe I ended up with someone like you.

Wife: To add to all the injury…after marriage you have started fighting a lot. Earlier, you would be completely lost without me.

Husband: You are right….I should have stopped and asked for directions…maybe…I wouldn`t have landed in a mess.

This is the exact conversation most 2-year old couples will have on a Monday morning. The beauty is, they will have this conversation…every Monday…every week…every month…every year…till death does them part. This is THE reason why you should get married to the lady you love.

Besides, you don`t want to marry a girl you don`t love…and after two years when you go about buying a used car…you find her clothes in the back seat.

This holds good for girls too. After all, you wouldn`t want to marry a man who …after a few years …when asked if he married you for love says: “Yeah, I insist. I even checked the whole list the day before our marriage!”