Jammy, as Jamshed V Rajan is affectionately called, is a wannabe stand up comedian. He has a funny take on most things but documents only some of them. If you are interested in chatting up with him, do drop him an email at jv.rajan@gmail.com or message him at +919650080255.
“Would you want to make love today?”
“I fixed the DVD player for you.”
“Can you tune into Ten Sports, please?”
“Your mother just called.”
“I sent some money to my parents.”
“I had this boy friend once….”
“I loved the dumb bells you gifted me.”
“My girl friends find you hot.”
“I love Bipasha Basu and Mallika Sherawat.”
Ouchmytoe will leave the tenth slot open for you. Leave your tenth sentence in the comment box…
At the peak of the Blog Ban saga, I had a got a call from a pretty girl called Ranjitha Gunasekaran of Indian Express. I know she must be pretty because most of them somehow find a way to get in touch with me.
The day was July 17 and she was calling to pick my brains about the ban. It felt good to get a call from the newspaper where I had started my career way back in 1999…and went to on to put in 18 months of meritorious service.
For long I wondered who would have turned Judas against me? Who would have told Ranjitha that I am into giving quotes? Apparently it was Aishwarya Rai…oops Rao, who maintains this blog – http://aishwaryarao.blogspot.com.
The article made it to print and you can see it here.
Sincere thanks to Kartik Kannan of Sulekha for scanning the newspaper.
Chennaiist is a collaborative weblog which intends to share information about the Chennai city. They have come up with a Top Ten list of personal blogs which carry interesting titles.
It is very incidental that Ouchmytoe has been listed as the first Blog in the category. Wonder if it is on rank…for it definitely is not in alphabetical order.
Before marriage I was of the belief that one person can never crowd one`s world. Apparently that`s false…and unfortunately I learnt that after marriage. I will try to be subtle here and not name the person who has crowded my life.
Since Friday last (21st July) my life has taken a turn for the worse. My family from Madurai – which includes my mother, two sisters and brother-in-law – is here in Chennai.
The Pandiyan Express was sharp as usual – it crept into the Railway station exactly at 5.45 a.m….time when the warriors of night were losing a pitched battle against the warriors of day. Through the battlefront, I saw my family getting down from the train…four of them. All heavily armed…with suitcases, bags, parcels, and stainless steel containers for murruku and adirasam. From afar, I counted the pieces of luggage…there were 18 in all….not including my family members.
As I walked towards them, I felt like King Porus (Greek for the name Puru)…the King of Paurava…who had surrendered to Alexander the Great only after his whole army was destroyed. Believe me, I am a man who fights his wars with drops of adrenalin…the moment my body stops secreting adrenalin …I lose the war. It doesn`t matter if I have Rekha standing behind me or I have the US Army which is now trying to control Iraq, with me.
“I thought you will be leaving in four day`s time?” I asked.
“Your brother-in-law will leave early and the rest of us will stay back for a week or so.” It was my mother. She has a way about her that forces you to keep quite for at least ten minutes after she delivers a sentence, lest you kindle an erupting volcano. I kept quite.
I have always had trouble handling relatives who believed in the age old Indian tradition ‘Atithi Devo Bhavah’. For those of you who don`t know ‘Atithi Devo Bhavah’ means – Guest is God. Scary huh? For me the three words have always meant a marketing campaign started by Ministry of Tourism, Government of India.
Even as my thoughts raced, both my sisters said in unison: ‘How much we wish we could stay in Chennai forever!”
My brother-in-law pierced a spear in my heart by saying: “I have already started loving the Chennai air. Wonder if I should call up office and extend my leave.”
In life there are moments when you gain points by arguing (like in a NDA, CDS, IIM, IIT Group Discussion) and there are moments in life when you gain points by keeping quite. I kept quite.
We could have got a porter. My mother spotted a man in red and shouted: “Coolie!”
“Excuse me?” The man in red looked confused.
“Come here. I want you to move these pieces to my son`s car outside. By the way, how much will you charge?”
“Madam, I think you are mistaken. I am not a coolie….I am just wearing a red shirt.”
Even as my mom stood their dumbstruck wondering at the latest fashion in Chennai, I had picked up the bags and started walking towards the car.
When we reached my Swift, my sister exclaimed: “Wow, you got a car!”
I am not good in math so could only do a rough head-count of the number of people who turned their heads to see us…some 87 of them. I even overheard somebody saying: “The way the girl shrieked, I wonder if he has actually stolen the car.”
I have convinced my brother-in-law to take up podcasting. Here is his first podcast – in Tamil…awesome.
Let me know what you think. Click here to listen.
Now that the Ban on Blogs has Been solved, thanks to a communication from the Ministry of Communications & Information Technology (see it here), we all can get on with our lives. That is, start Blogging.Here is a quick poll to find out why you keep coming Back to Ouchmytoe.
With great difficulty I had to leave out “Because Ouchmytoe sponsors terrorism at home” as an option.
When I think of the blog ban, I wonder if we are going back in history. Didn`t somebody who lived as early as the 17th century say: “I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the very end, your right to say it.” By the way, that was Voltaire.
While reading the newspapers today morning I came across an awesomely written article on the blog ban in India. Click Here to read the article written in Indian Express by Saubhik Chakrabarti.
This blog ban raises a few more questions – Can`t I get the feed for these banned blogs in my feed-reader and read the anti-social posts? Can`t I reach these blogs thro` Google Search? How are the ISPs going to compensate me for the mental agony I have been thro` since they blocked the blogs? Will they waive off my broadband fee …like how an erring hotel gives me an on-the-house dish?
What is the issue all about?
We expect our Government to do a lot of things – But not Ban Blogs. That too Because a Bunch of terrorists exchanged messages on some God forsaken private Blog.
We had two opposing reasons to Believe that the Government would never resort to something like this – 1) They were intelligent 2) They were too stupid to understand Internet
That we are having trouble reaching out to Blogs with *.blogspot.com, *.typepad.com & geocities/* is because our Government officials were both intelligent & stupid at the same time. They were intelligent enough to find out that the terrorists used it to communicate (which I though was pretty clever) but they were also stupid enough to then walk up to the ISPs and say “Block them all!”
If dissuading the terrorists was the idea, why not block the Indian blogs like Redifflogs, Sify blogs, O3 etc? Or for that matter, the other communication platforms on the internet like discussion threads, groups, e-mails, Messengers, online Games (where chat is possible) … one could go on.
I hope this is just a one-off blunder by some official and not a step towards becoming another China. Without Internet I would lose half my life`s purpose. Wonder how it will be for you…
Links related to blog ban in India
Bloggers Collective – Google Group against Blog ban
Wiki – Bloggers Against censorship
ISPs that seemed to have locked *.Blogspot.com
Quotes from Bloggers on the censorship issue
How to by-pass the blog ban in India
Want to join the protesters?
Hot News on the Blog ban in India
Blogs: the new terrorist training ground?
In the days following the deadly train blasts in Mumbai, the Indian government took an unusual security step: it blocked access to blogs. More
India Blocks Websites, Blogs After Terror Attacks
The Indian government has blocked about 20 websites and blogs in India, following suspicions by the country`s intelligence agencies that the sites were likely being used by terrorists to communicate with each another. More
DoT asks ISPs to block 18 websites, blogs post-Mumbai blasts
In the wake of reported shooting up of terror and hate messages on the internet following the deadly Mumbai serial blasts, the Telecom Department has directed all the 150 operational Internet Service Providers to block 18 websites. More
Inept censorship won’t work
A couple of years ago, the government of India decided to ban a Yahoo newsgroup allegedly run by Naga insurgents. In the process, all Yahoo newsgroups were inadvertently blocked, leading to a furore among internet users in India. After about a week, matters were rectified, but the lessons seem not to have been learnt. Now, they have locked the blogs. More
Bloggers criticise jamming of blog sites
The major blog sites including blogspot.com, a site meant to set up new blogs, have been jammed in the last couple of days. It isn’t clear who has blocked these popular sites but unconfirmed reports say the Department of Telecom has issued orders to Internet service providers to block the websites. More
Blogs, websites go blank
Millions of domestic internet users could not access some of the world`s most popular blogs like geocities.com, blogspot.com and typepad.com, as the government ordered a blackout of around 18 sites for publishing content that was ‘anti-national` and ‘against public interest`. More
Indian government blocking access to Blogger Blogs?
Looks like the Indian government is indeed instructing ISPs to block certain blogging networks and that includes the very popular Blogger. As per incoming information, The Department of Telecommunications has sent a notice to ISPs operating in the country to block around 17-18 websites on the internet. More