Had it not been for the rain yesterday, I would have gone unwashed...unabashed. Luckily, just as I was leaving for my office, heavens opened up and gave me a shower that I desperately needed. I would not blame Chennai for me not taking bath. Neither would I blame its iron-fisted ruler

If you don`t know this, you are probably young. But the secret of staying young is to lie about your age. For example, I am just 21 years old. I promise. The good thing about aging is that you don`t have to do anything. Just keep advising and people will notice

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US Naval ship and the Canadians, off the coast of Newfoundland, Oct. 95. In case you didn`t know people of Newfoundlands are considered to be the Sardars of Canada...that is to say, most jokes in Canada are aimed at

As you are all aware, my grand father was a farmer-shepherd. My father interned as a shepherd before finding out that it wasn`t his calling and moved to farming. Farming involved getting up early and sleep walking to the fields two kilometers away, with two well built bullocks pulling you

I am not the kind to make fun of somebody`s mistakes - especially because my English teacher never made fun of me. She didn`t because she knew that I was eyeing her and if she showed more care towards me (coz I was weak), I might mistake that for love. There

Rekha`s elder sister Rema and her husband Sudhir have come down to India from the Gulf. What kabuliwalas were in the 70s, the Gulfwalas are today. They always come back with goodies for everybody. This being the Christmas season, I wouldn`t be off target if I compared them to Santa Claws.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx I might not be a Groucho Marx, but my thoughts on Television match his. No wonder TV is also known as an idiot box. Now, I am looking

As you are probably aware, I already have a treadmill at home. We used to work out in the initial days, but now we use it to dry our clothes. If you planning to buy a treadmill, I would suggest you buy one that can hold more than four dripping-wet

Those of you who read the earlier post on Taj Mahal being shifted to Pune are probably cursing me. Here is a blogger who has done one better. Check out what Hul, also known as ‘Infinite Yellow` (view his Blog here) has sent me. And he has the cheek to

Looks like Ouchmyte is nurturing monsters, who if given enough time can turn dangerous. Here is a mail received from one of the readers - Rajesh Nair (original name) and my reply to him. From: Rajesh Nair To: Jammy Date: April 17, 2007 Hi Jammy, Today I accidentally stumbled upon your blog @

Gone are the days when my "I love you" would evoke an echo from my wife. I say echo because she would give me that romantic look and say "I love you." It is a totally unrelated thing that as an afterthought, she would add "too"...meaning "I love you too". Now,

One of the greatest gamblers of our time died on 26th Dec 2005. Kerry Packer - the Aussie cricket-lover, businessman and billionaire, who gambled with the way cricket was played, is no more. Some 20-25 years ago when cricket was still played in whites, Kerry Packer intervened and changed the way

As usual, by afternoon I had to apologize and patch up. If you are married, you probably empathize with me. But if you aren`t you probably think I am a hen-pecked husband. Before I even start proving that I am not hen-pecked, let me tell you that being hen-pecked is not

Last Friday I got a little drunk. A few of my friends had come down from Pune and we had a party in Delhi. It was 10.30 p.m. when we finished (old men wrap up early!). I don`t drive while drinking. And vice versa. The drunk, adventurous ‘me` decided to

Unmarried friend: You picking up your wife on your way? Married friend: Yeah... Unmarried friend: Why you so upset? Married friend: This is no longer exciting...it used to be great before marriage. Unmarried friend: I can understand. Familiarity breeds contempt. Married friend: Damn true. Now, if you ask me....picking ones nose is better than picking

I realized just now that I have been blogging for the last five years. Damn! This itself deserves a blog post. Another humor blogging biggie Great Bong celebrated his fourth year in blogging recently. Unfortunately, I am still suffering from the writer`s block that`s been plaguing me for the last

On Nov 9, I put in my papers in Satyam Computers. I am now moving to Yahoo! and looking forward to it. No, it wasn`t how an Amitabh Bachchan or a Vijay Shanti (of Telugu films) would submit their resignations. Instead, it was quite a sober affair. I mailed my

Three months back I had decided to be in Madurai for a wedding on Sep 9 & 10. But on 6th I decided to drop the Madurai trip and attend the BlogCamp instead. After spending two days at the BlogCamp, I have realized that very little differentiates BlogCamp from a

Being the back-seat driver comes easily to Rekha. She ‘comments` on my driving and gives me tips on avoiding the spots of bother that I could get into. Always I rubbish her comments and continue driving. As a result, we have had long, silent sessions where neither of us spoke. Believe

In the last couple of days I have realized that Ouchmytoe readers (and that means YOU!) only like funny articles. I also have a feeling you prefer articles targeting Rekha more than anything else. So, here is a promise - will try and include Rekha in each post of mine

Today at office one gentleman yawned during a meeting. But he yawned with his mouth closed - a sign of good manners you would say. But is it actually good manners? I wouldn`t mind if Aishwarya Rai or Vidya Balan (of Parineeta) tried to stifle a yawn...they would look pretty doing

Ever lived in a hostel? If not, you would better stop reading coz you are not going to understand one bit. Today morning when I walked into my balcony, I saw my towel fall from the line where I had left it to dry. It was dry all right. But

In my interaction with my baby daughter, I have come to know that they are quick learners, especially if they are girls. Take Rhea for example...yes, that`s what we have named her...Rhea has learnt the art of crying and not stopping till the end objective is achieved. There must be

The headset with microphone, which Rekha gifted me, actually works. Just that I didn`t know technology. Here is yours sincerely, presenting his first Podcast. It talks of why I sound like Britney Spears, what Rekha and I share in common, Athens Olympics, Michael Jackson, Raj Kapoor, Mera Naam Joker, Steve Martin

Some jokes are timeless. Like the one given below which has been told at least 10 times by Rahul Razdan, and yet manages to bring out a smile out of a tired me. Apparently, two Sardars were sitting on a tree feeling Happy. And then, Happy left. BTW, have you

I really loved Elizabeth Taylor. I would have married her but I didn’t want to be the ninth guy – that would have really upset my parents. But you got to give it to Liz Taylor for her taste and ability to identify the right people. All her eight husbands

Yesterday South Indian actress Jyothika came to our office, and the whole building was cordoned off. She had requested for extra layer of security coz, it seems she is not good at handling crowd. This made me think. In future, the World will be full of criminals, who want to rob,

Becoming one is impossible. Well, at least that`s what I thought till I came to know that a post titled How to: Behave like a Celebrity Blogger (dated 07, August 2007 and written by Adi Crazy) was inspired by me. Apparently, Adi Crazy had been leaving comments on Ouchmytoe.com but wasn`t

Harry Kurnitz was once asked what he thought of Volkswagens. He said: "I have been in bigger women." Not a polite thing to say, but I think the same of Tata Nano. Very unfortunate then, that Ratan Tata (the man who dreamt of Tata Nano and made it possible) has

http://www.wibsite.com/wiblog/dull This is probably the dullest blog in the whole universe. Click on the link above, and I can assure you...you won't be disappointed! Also, check out the comments he has got!

Somebody had said "Revenge is a dish best served cold" and they are still trying to find out who said it. Don`t believe me? Check out Wikipedia`s page on ‘revenge`. In the 33 years of my life, I have had my share of revenges. It all began when I

I have finally managed to get a story of mine on Rediff. It is on how to shop smart...esp with your wife around. Thanks to the Editor it sounds a lot better now! Read More

It isn`t without reason that Railways has a separate budget. No, it isn`t because Mamta Banerjee wanted to have her own purse. It is because Railways is an integral part of the Indian psyche, not to mention the amount of money spent on its daily up keep and the number

Here are the top 16 keywords for which Ouchmytoe.com pages figure in the first page of Google search results. # Funny Farewell Letter (The Blog Post) # Ouchmytoe (The Blog Post) # Free ibibo SMS Manager Downloads (The Blog Post) # Indian Wives Sex (The Blog Post) # Farewell Mails (The Blog Post) # Ouch

I decided. I searched. I found the place. I mingled. I drank the coffee (?!). I left. This is exactly how I would describe Sunday`s Chennai Bloggers Meet ....in 16 words. If you give me more elbowroom...maybe I can spice it up for you. [Whatever I say after this line needs to

Like hundreds, I have also submitted my story for the Sulekha-Penguin 'India Smiles' contest. It is a unique contest aimed at promoting humor writing. One of my Blog readers had suggested that I participate...and I did. Here is the story I have sent. Read it, and if you like it...leave a comment. Titled:

Never trust a woman who tells you her real age. A woman who would tell you that, would tell you anything. - Oscar Wilde I am thirty years old. That is...1/4th of my life is already over. I didn`t realize I was getting old until they showed character-artist AK Hangal on Doordarshan