Any day, I would prefer Vodka to tea or coffee. But since, they don`t allow liquor in my office, I take tea breaks. Being content with tea doesn`t mean that I like it. No grudge against all those thousands of malayalee tea-walas who have single-handedly taken over the profession from the

If you want to publish your articles in any website... would be a good bet. It is easy, and is free. While submitting your articles, you will be asked to give 'Author Profile.' Suggest, you include your blog url in your profile. Additional visitors wont hurt, would they? Also, the fact

Diamonds are real...problems. At least for the men. For the women it is a boon. I mean, what else can it be, when it helps you further your standing among the other women, yet you do not have to pay for it. I know how it feels because I have once

This is a joke my father once told me. It seems Winston Churchill was visiting India and Jawahar Lal Nehru took him on an early morning walk around the Teen Murti Bhavan. Midway through the walk, Churchill pointed to a man squatting by the roadside and asked Nehru, "What is that

Pranay Srinivasan (an old friend of mine - not old in terms years!) sent this forward. Since it made interesting reading, thought I should share it with the other Ouchmytoe readers. Believe me...I didn`t make this one up. The Mail Forward as Received The European Commission has just announced an agreement

Giving bath to a baby isn`t as easy as it is made out to be. More so, when two pair of watchful eyes are prying over your shoulder. Yesterday, Rekha and I ran into each other at home and the final verdict was that I wasn`t contributing much to our

Five years back my girl friends would whisper into my ear, ‘Come to me baby." Two years back my wife whispered into my ear, "Let us have a baby." Yesterday, I walked into a baby showroom, aptly named "Diaper" and whispered into the counter lady`s ears, "I am having a baby." I

A week back, we named our son (born on 1st July 2013), Ritwik. In fact the same day we even booked Apparently, in US & Europe you have to decide on a name for your kid within two days of their birth. That is it - 2 days. Meanwhile,

Here is a conversation Rekha and I had in Nalli Silks (a premium silk saree manufacturer in Chennai). You make sense of it. "I like this pink saree with golden border. Shall I get this?" "Yeah sure. It looks good," I say. Rekha spends some time with a brown saree she finds on

In Singapore there is a bus service called Pub-crawlers. It picks up people who intend to do some pub hopping at a nominal price of $35 per night and take them to four different pubs in the city...each night. Pretty innovative. The service has been around for a year now (actually,

As you are all aware, my grand father was a farmer-shepherd. My father interned as a shepherd before finding out that it wasn`t his calling and moved to farming. Farming involved getting up early and sleep walking to the fields two kilometers away, with two well built bullocks pulling you

As a seven-year-old boy in 1982, I had taken my baby steps towards being a criminal. Back then, if you were a criminal you didn’t have to hide in a high-fenced complex in Pakistan or in an apartment complex in Dubai (did I just give away the hiding place of

This time around, I have added background music and cheer and audience applause. I must say I was impressed with myself. The problem with getting impressed with self is that you start wondering if the others will also get impressed. This Podcast is about environmental go on and have fun. Click

This astrologer friend of mine used to write weekly horoscopes. For reasons unknown to the junta he has now stopped. Like anything else associated with me, the below given weekly predictions have no rhyme or reason. They will 'definitely' come take it with a pinch of salt. Aries (March 21 -

Familiarity breeds contempt and children. - Mark Twain That is quite a true statement. Within a few months of marriage, Rekha and I became familiar with each other. Now, we also have contempt for each other. No wonder...we are planning for a child very soon. Besides the contempt, the other thing that encouraged

Not all who smoke Gold Flake Kings, live life King-size. Well, at least not the ones those are married. Not so long ago, I was a chain smoker. Now I am chained smoker. From a cool sounding 15-20 cigarettes/day, to very modest 1-2 cigarettes a day, it has been a very steep

I have a doubt that I am a woman. I don`t have much proof for this - for example, I don`t get 1000+ scraps a day on Orkut and ibibo. Neither do men stare at my chest while I talk to them nor do they open the door for me

I hate to tell you but Rekha stops being my better half from today. Yes, I am serious. Ouchmytoe will continue to write about her and give you the latest stories from her life...but she will no longer be Jammy`s better half. What about Rhea? Well, more on that later.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. - Will Rogers (You bet sir. For I don`t think what is happening to me is comedy...but these guys who are regular readers of my marriage woes think it is funny) The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one

Year 1997 was a watershed in my life. I was adjudged Tamil Nadu`s second best Naval NCC Cadet (don`t ask me why I wasn`t the first - even my father didn`t dare ask), I spent seven days in UK and three months in Canada. We will leave my Canadian sojourn

Yours sincerely will be conducting a workshop on ‘How to make internet work for you" at Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore (IIMB) on Oct 14. If you are somewhere in the vicinity, and would like to meet a head-strong, self-proclaimed internet evangelist...please give him (and that would be me) a

June 30 saw Delhi`s first Gay Parade. Some 100 policemen and 500 gay activists congregated at one place (and yes the Delhi policemen were there only for protection) to churn the system. This blog post is a tribute to the gay guts. I also wanted to be there...but couldn`t find

Rekha`s family has decided to strip me on the day of the marriage. Looks like the marriage will be sanctified in a temple. But this is only the good part. The bad part is, I can only wear a dhoti during the marriage. That leaves out my fat-laden, scar-ridden, breast-hanging torso

Being the back-seat driver comes easily to Rekha. She ‘comments` on my driving and gives me tips on avoiding the spots of bother that I could get into. Always I rubbish her comments and continue driving. As a result, we have had long, silent sessions where neither of us spoke. Believe

Had it not been for the rain yesterday, I would have gone unwashed...unabashed. Luckily, just as I was leaving for my office, heavens opened up and gave me a shower that I desperately needed. I would not blame Chennai for me not taking bath. Neither would I blame its iron-fisted ruler

Swine Flu is like Susan Boyle. It hasn't really done much, but anyone with an internet connection has heard of it. - Read somewhere on the internet [Not heard of Susan Boyle?] I know this article on Swine Flu is late. By the time you read this, it might not even

I remember going places before marriage. Not that I am not going places after marriage - I mean, I bought an iron box, a three-legged stool, a Motorola Razr V3i, a Suzuki Swift and a single bed for myself only after marriage. When I say I am not going places after

Rekha and I watched a Malayalam movie last night. was amazing...some Mohal Lal flick...the name doesn't matter. But now I am a major fan of Malayalam movies. Suggest me some good ones ...would really love to watch a few more of them. To know more about the movie we saw....check

I have never been a great singer leave alone being a music lover. I say this because when I last sang, people said I was reading. The only deaf person in the audience loved the speech I delivered before I started singing (she was lip-reading)....but turned away when I started

My parents hated going out to eat. In fact even when we were traveling and stranded outdoors at odd times, we would still stretch ourselves, reach home, cook food and then eat. While I hated my parents for this....there was a lesson in it for me. Which, unfortunately I learnt

Have you ever tried having a conversation with somebody from the Finance department in your office? Chances are you hated the conversation. If you liked the conversation, chances are you also work for the Finance department. They always end up talking of money. The Finance people are only slightly better than

(This is definately not my own....but worth sharing.) One can say that Indian Govt is like a condom because it allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Even for one moment, I don`t want you to believe that the Vacancy Available advertisement I gave in The Hindu dated September 30, had any sexual intension. Here is what the advertisement said: A handsome young man (I am 31 years old) is looking for an understanding, compassionate lady partner to

- I like you in those tight-fitting jeans. - Looks like you didn`t wax your hands. - I just called up your father. - May I do the dishes? - Why don`t you call me at work? - Everybody liked the lunch I carried with me today. - My mother wasn`t as good a cook as

On June 17 every year, this family goes through a private ritual - they photograph themselves to stop for a fleeting moment the arrow of time passing by. The result: We can in one page see their family and its members growing (not to mention, notice the changing fashion each year).

First things first - I attended Caferati`s Delhi Meet on Sunday evening (from 4.30 p.m. to 8 p.m.). I was accompanied by wife Rekha and daughter Rhea. I know it does sound like a Minister's entourage...but I am not yet a Minister. We landed at the meeting place at 5.30

Rekha and I had left Chennai on 12th evening. Here is a break up of the day`s events. In subsequent posts I will be writing on what transpired once we landed in Kerala. [Everything that follows, including the typos, is being reproduced as was written in a moving train on 12th

Yesterday London won the right to host the 2012 Olympics. It proves the age-old story that David can slay the Goliath anytime. BTW, did you know that David Beckham led the London bid? You are probably wondering why I speak of the Olympics on a platform where I lay bare the