One of the greatest gamblers of our time died on 26th Dec 2005. Kerry Packer - the Aussie cricket-lover, businessman and billionaire, who gambled with the way cricket was played, is no more. Some 20-25 years ago when cricket was still played in whites, Kerry Packer intervened and changed the way

In a series of "What If" articles, we had earlier discussed What if there were no women in the World and What if I were an egg.... In this article belonging to the "What if" family, we will discuss the possibilities of humans not having ears. If the question is "What

When a man makes a woman his wife....it is the highest compliment he can pay her. In 95% of the cases it is the last compliment. In the other 5% of cases, the last compliment is when the bags are being packed at the honeymoon location. In most of these cases,

My father in law was undergoing treatment at Artemis Hospital in Gurgaon for cancer in his Oesophagus. He gave it his best shot….but didn’t quite make it. He passed away at Artemis Hospital, at 5.32 pm on 20 September. How else does a writer pay tribute….but by writing. So sharing

This cartoon was a not-so-subtle way of telling the marketing guys in my team "Boss, you can talk. Know anything called 'Doing'? Since most of these marketters were also regular visitors to my blog had to publish this disclaimer just below the cartoon - Guys.....spare me. I have a family

If you are married, you probably don`t sleep. And if you do manage to, you are probably pinched all night on your inner thigh (ouch, that hurt!) to keep you awake because when you sleep, you snore and that keeps your wife awake. In the first month of our marriage, I

Ouchmytoe.com has seen two Valentine Day`s posts in its lifetime. Way back in 2004, I was looking for St Valentine and in 2006 I tried making it a special day for my newly wedded wife, Rekha. Today, almost five years (or is it six?) after our marriage I suddenly feel

Man they say was never made for toilets, or is it that toilets were never made for man? Anyways, here I am not pointing a finger at all the saints who for close to 2-3 minutes give up their Worldly belongings, which more often than not is just some pride

This post has been updated after advice from my Brand Image Consultant, whose name will not be revealed even if I am forced to marry again! Friday, the 15th was my last day with Yahoo India. The first three months of my time in Y! India were a breeze but after

Wanted something funny for your desktop? A wallpaper which will convey to rest of the World that you have a sense of humor? Thankfully, your wait is over....Ouchmytoe.com presents the funniest wallpaper in the Universe (considering Jammy's mental limitations). [Click on the thumbnail below to download the 1024X768 version. Sincere

In the name of humour, we will now learn to respect and appreciate the capabilities of the disabled. I wouldn`t have written this piece had it not been for this stupid guy in my office who parks in the handicap-parking slot. I tried to argue with him...but he just wouldn`t listen.

There are people like this. For the world they are the gift to mankind...and deep down inside ...or for that matter beneath a thin layer of brasso, they are green and slimy.

India`s top professional blogger Amit Agarwal of Labnol and Digital Inspiration fame has come up with a list of the most widely read blogs of India. It is aptly titled ‘India Blogs`. Wonder if it is intentional that in the name...the word ‘Blog` is both a noun and verb. Those

In early November 2007, I had traveled in an Air Deccan flight from Chennai to Delhi. As always happens with me (and compulsively so!) I wrote a funny piece of my experiences on the flight - and my fantasies with Air Deccan Air Hostess Poornima and Kavita - titled My

I think I was brainwashed by Research and Analysis Wing (RAW), coz I am not the type to volunteer for tasks requiring courage. But there I was infiltrating the porous India-Pakistan border. I think I took the route Abhishek Bachchan walked/ran in his first movie Refugee. My instructions were simple...I was

Now that the Ban on Blogs has Been solved, thanks to a communication from the Ministry of Communications & Information Technology (see it here), we all can get on with our lives. That is, start Blogging.Here is a quick poll to find out why you keep coming Back to Ouchmytoe. With

Ever traveled in an auto-rickshaw in Chennai? Or for that matter anywhere in India? If your answer is a big ‘No,` chances are you have not indulged in various other adventures too - like bungee jumping, demolition derby (a sport where you smash each other`s cars till the last car

This is old but worthwhile. In 2002, a British University decided to find the World's funniest joke. Laugh Lab set up the rules of the scientific experiment to find out the world's funniest joke. After a while, the results of the study were published in The New Scientist. As a bonus,

On Sunday last we bought a pram for Rhea - our baby. Believe me, getting the right pram is a difficult task. You could be fooled too. Rekha walked up to me on Saturday morning and said: "We need to buy pram." "I think, ‘p` is silent...for I have only heard

Thanks to technology people, many a times, I have been at the receiving end. Hard to say, whose mistake it was. Anyways, now I am no longer under the impression that different languages only mean stuff like html, Perl, ASP....

 can`t say that this post is not inspired by Rekha. If I did, I will find myself walking to the court the next minute. If you are 20 and below, I would suggest you stop reading this post. If you are above 20, and are married, please don`t tell your wife

I was born by Caesarian. You can`t usually tell, but whenever I go out of the house, I take the window. - Steven Martin Today, I was telling my Reporting Manager (I use the word because it sounds less sinister than ‘boss`) that I wanted to have a baby. I mean not

Kissing is fine if it is within the five walls of the house. Yes, ours is a unique house. Once, outside...it is a big mess. Unless of course, you live in the US of A or the fashion capital (or French capital?) Paris. After the Kareena Kapoor-Shahid Khan kissing episode that

Warning: This movie is like LOC (remember the four hour movie?) and only the characters would be introduced in the pre-interval session. Rekha and Rajan love each other very much. And because, Rajan loves his wife a little bit more than that required for a safe and stable day-to-day existence, he

I did not know this. And I bet you didn`t know either...unless you work with NASA or ISRO or Mossad. We all CC our mails in our daily life. But do you know what CC stands for? Carbon Copy? There, I got you! It is wrong. I came to know yesterday that

There is so much humor in sex. Is it me or is it the World that`s failing to understand? I mean, why do we have to read news items like Church warden charged after sex with corpse? Totally uncalled for.  Here are a few quotes that take sex lightly and make

Yesterday, I realized that I am not the only threat to airhostess that my family has to offer. My mother is better than me when it comes to air hostesses. On Friday my mom and I traveled from Delhi to Madurai - changing flights at Chennai - and I must

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) * * * * * My life has always been full of animals. No, I am in no way referring to Rekha, my wife. I agree man is

It becomes a double whammy when research agencies like AC Nielsen decide to use "mention in blogs" as a metric and corporates buy them! According to a recent Nielsen BuzzMetrics Sustainability Monitor study, Wal-Mart is the corporation most linked with blog posts that mention 'sustainability'. Wal-Mart was mentioned in 1.77

Japanese designers have come up with what they claim is the perfect solution for the unattached woman - the boyfriend pillow. And it is an ideal sleeping partner because it doesn't snore, hog the duvet - or sleep around. Each model comes with two shirts in blue and pink, that can

Just like the tortoise boss, the arm chair boss, the peanut boss, the skirt boss and the dolphin boss, there are many types of fathers in law. I am not bluffing here - these boss types real but this post wouldn`t elaborate because it is dedicated to father in laws.

This is the latest update from the Blog World. And it is big. Phase 1 Editor of the JAM magazine for youth Rashmi Bhansal writes an article on IIPM`s tall claims in its print advertisements. The three different parts of the article were - The Rankings | The Degree | The Placements Phase 2 Gaurav

Rekha and I watched Mughal-e-Azam over the weekend. Nice, colorful movie. Definitely better than the pseudo-tear-jerker Devdas. The movie is all about a young Jehangir (Akbar`s son) falling in love with Anarkali, a dancer at the court. And the repercussions. There are instances in the movie, where Jehangir, blinded by his love

Here are some things Rekha wants me to keep in mind this week-end i.e., when she is not here. I wonder if her absence is actually worth the fun. The list she handed over to me is being re-created verbatim - 1) Pick up the milk from the door, boil it and

This post is purely imaginative and while it refers to the characters as Rekha - my wife and Selvi - my mother...they were in no way involved in this incident. This post has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with me! Fully aware of my hair`s need

Yes size matters. Since this is not a debate that would decide the future of the World (like how the debate between John Kerry and George Bush did), I will be my usual self and not think as I type. Come to think of it, I guess I should stop calling

Click Here to savor it and please do remember to post your feedback. It is a humble attempt at coming up with a site full of satire & humour (hopefully). The good news is, Ouchmytoe is open to contributions. *Best viewed in 800X600 resolution. Best Wishes Jamshed V Rajan Editor-at-Large

This post is dedicated to Garima Sinha, who works for ibibo. Find out why. I had recently bought an HP Printer Cartridge and registered online for their "Spin & Win" contest. As luck would have it, I won a Gillette Mach 3 razor worth Rs 125...which reached my house yesterday. This

If you have ever been somebody’s Valentine, you would have noticed that more often than not the Valentine’s Day celebrations fade out with time. Being an average next door couple, we both have almost stopped celebrating this day. Now, before you go ahead get judgmental, let me tell you that