Somebody has put Photoshop to good use. To quote the source from where I have flicked this: "Nice use of Photoshop to create a recursive paradox and a self-fulfilling prophecy at the same time." To view the photograph, get high on some hash....by clicking here -->

I know this girl And I think she is mafia. Shes a BOMB herself. Now, that's a handy weapon. She also sells opium For when I near her I get a high. An expert in unarmed combat, She just has to touch me. And I cave in. Shes got weapons hidden Underneath her jacket That could blow my head apart. She avoids the

To show-off I know most of you men out there will agree that girl friends are a little difficult to walk with. I am not referring to their slow gait in tight trousers ..but figuratively. Not many of us actually like to walk on a busy road with a girl friend

Once upon a time, there lived a Blog called Mediaah! It provided vivid commentary on what the Media was up to. It carried news we would have otherwise missed because none of the newspapers, magazines and websites we read would carry them. In short, Mediaah! was slowly but steadily turning

My apologies. This post should have been up by 8 a.m. today but got delayed because of my divorced, dentist neighbor late last night. Usually, I don`t like discussing my neighbor`s life on my blog (why should I? He should start his own f%$#ing blog!) but since the story is

Rhea is now 20 months old and it has been a long journey. If I were to draw a parallel, it has been like crossing the Niagara Falls on a tight walk rope. That`s why in the last 20 months, while playing with Rhea I have always sat down on

You know the good thing about father-in-laws? Once you are married to their daughters you don’t need to impress them. And, do you know the bad thing about wives? They understand the son-in-law vs father-in-law undercurrents, and thus force you to respect him. I am a better person early in

Being a sport (having a sense of fellowship with or a sense of respect for your competitor) doesn't mean that your 'willingness to win' is suspect. Everybody hates a sore loser and everybody loves a good sport. Watch this video - awesome. In some places you might even cry.

[This was written when the rains were lashing Chennai and my Sify broadband connection was down] It has been raining cats and dogs in Chennai. NDTV tells me that is not true and it has been raining in other parts of the country also. Can`t mess with a pretty babe on

If you are married, you probably don`t sleep. And if you do manage to, you are probably pinched all night on your inner thigh (ouch, that hurt!) to keep you awake because when you sleep, you snore and that keeps your wife awake. In the first month of our marriage, I

Have you ever had a boss who works out of another city? Or have you interacted with a client living across seven seas? If yes, chances are you have attended conference calls. Don`t ask me why they are also known as con-calls.... In my earlier job (with so many bloggers asked to

I am not the kind to make fun of somebody`s mistakes - especially because my English teacher never made fun of me. She didn`t because she knew that I was eyeing her and if she showed more care towards me (coz I was weak), I might mistake that for love. There

What you are going to read happened in a small town called Sivakasi, in Tamil Nadu...way back in the 1980s. 1989 to be precise. For those who don't know, Sivakasi is a hyper active town with a population of less than 5 lakhs yet supplying 90% of all firecrackers,

I will never forget how I tasted liquor for the first time. The biology teacher (whom I had a crush on, and thus went on to score 87% in XII so as to impress her) informed us that the next day we will be dissecting frogs and one of us

My hats off to Google`s G-mail. Incase you are interested, you could mail me at jv.rajan@gmail.com I am somehow appreciative of the way Google works. Their philosophy seems to have two prominent phrases 1) Keep it simple 2) Surprise the suckers While the `keep it simple` bit is for users like you and me.

The character reminds me of myself. Long back...in the days of the yore.. when I used to wear a navy blue trouser, a dirty white shirt and Charlie Chaplin-like shoes six days a week...I used to be addressed as Romeo Rajan. Funny, how certain sounds, certain smell or for that matter

Click Here to savor it and please do remember to post your feedback. It is a humble attempt at coming up with a site full of satire & humour (hopefully). The good news is, Ouchmytoe is open to contributions. *Best viewed in 800X600 resolution. Best Wishes Jamshed V Rajan Editor-at-Large

I have nothing against Nursery Rhymes. Yet, when I was a kid I always thought they were a big fat lie. Perhaps, I matured too early or perhaps I was just incorrigible. Either ways I was not what other kids my age were. They all enjoyed nursery rhymes. I realized I was

When I was a kid I never understood the digestive system. I was under the impression that a morsel of food swallowed would fall into the stomach like something falling into a pickle jar. As a result, for long I believed it was the ‘bums` where all the shit was stored.

Riddler and the Joker are now passé - superhero Batman now has a new enemy. In his latest comic which has already hit the stands he takes on the World`s most dreaded terrorist - Osama bin Laden. Al Qaeda attacks Batman`s Gotham city, which is then rescued by the caped

Step 1. Boil some water. Step 2. Skim over the directions (in case you forget necessary ingredients such as water or heat). Step 3. Dip your finger in. If it hurts like a bitch, it`s ready for more ingredients. Read More

Hailing from a not-so-metropolitan city called Madurai, I had never heard of Valentines Day. Now that I have spent four years in Chennai...I know what it takes to go thro` the torture. Sometimes I feel jealous of the Madurai boys, who do not have to undergo the pain. When February begins girl-friends

(Warning: it is long...1318 words to be precise) I think it was the summer of 69. Or was it 62? Either way it was a summer to remember. This is a very insignificant incident that happened in my life. I know, it might scare the S*&^t out of you, but for me...it

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx I might not be a Groucho Marx, but my thoughts on Television match his. No wonder TV is also known as an idiot box. Now, I am looking

If you are living in Delhi or Gurgaon, my apologies....rain was never meant for you. If you live elsewhere in the country, chances are you have seen rain and understand what it is. Here is an article on the rainy season. I don`t remember when I first saw rain. Since

Yesterday I took my grandmother to a hospital nearby. She had been coughing the whole night and I thought if I could fix her a meeting with the 65-year-old general physician nearby, she would be happy. My grandma had a ball of a time. The doctor held her hand (he said

Last year four teams (including one each from Stanford and Carnegie Mellon University) raced across 131.6 miles in the Mojave Desert to decide the winner. Just that in this race, the cars were robotic, empty and drove themselves. When I read that the winner got a whooping US $ 2

I hate to tell you but Rekha stops being my better half from today. Yes, I am serious. Ouchmytoe will continue to write about her and give you the latest stories from her life...but she will no longer be Jammy`s better half. What about Rhea? Well, more on that later.

Gizmoz is a super product that has the potential (and I am sure of that) to take the blogging World by storm. Once in, the site allows you to upload your photograph, customize the way you want to look, give it some dialog, and then animate it as a flash file.

It has been ages since I updated you on how my married life with Rekha has been progressing. Let me break the streak and come up with a post on how "blissful" the marriage has been. As you are already aware I am not a fan of this institution called

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it. - Art Buchwald once said. He has been my hero since I started reading (rather forced to read) The Hindu. His 400-word column would appear in the last page of the daily and initially

Now I am a respectable man in the society, but not so long back - when I was young and could jump over walls quick – I was actually a Mumbai Underworld gangster. Robbing & killing for money!

Rekha and I are back from Vishu. It was amazing fun (Rekha is standing next to me even as I type this). Very shortly, we will be releasing a movie called ‘Vishu Visit`. Here are the details of the movie - Cast: JV Rajan as son-in-law Rekha Rajan as daughter Chandrashekaran Nair as

While I was growing up, receiving a box of hand-me-down clothes was like finding treasure. I think it all started when I was growing up too fast for the comfort of my parents. Before I tell you how me growing up troubled my parents, let me tell you how I