buf·fet1 n. A meal at which guests serve themselves from various dishes displayed on a table or sideboard Well, that`s what buffets are supposed to be. Unless, it is a meeting of old colleagues who want to catch up on the lives of their common friends. Throw into the pool a

Room service? Send up a larger room. - Groucho Marx (Not Karl Marx`s brother) I felt exactly like Groucho Marx. Not old and rickety but like Groucho`s, our room at Taj Residency was also small. OK...small for three people. The first time Anand, my room-mate, inserted the key to open the door...he

A poem titled - Today in the Stock Market: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cow steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches

Boss: What`s up? Me: Ceiling. Boss: No, besides that. Me: My spirits. Boss: That was not very smart. Me: I agree. Boss: So what`s up? Me: The fan. Boss: Besides the fan, ceiling and your spirits...you idiot. Me: Hmm....the pealing plaster? Boss: Did not see that one coming. What is up...besides the ceiling, fan, your spirits and the pealing plaster? Me:

Definition of Lateral Thinking - Lateral thinking is a term coined by Edward de Bono, a Maltese psychologist, physician and writer. It first appeared in the title of his book The Use of Lateral Thinking, published in 1967. De Bono defines lateral thinking as methods of thinking concerned with changing

Did you know that Ouchmytoe has gone live with a Cricket Blog? If you knew it... great, but if you didn`t know it...don`t even bother....it is just a bunch of links put together for AdSense revenue.  ------X-------X------ Today, I missed the Australian innings of the India vs Australia Champions Trophy match. As

In my interaction with my baby daughter, I have come to know that they are quick learners, especially if they are girls. Take Rhea for example...yes, that`s what we have named her...Rhea has learnt the art of crying and not stopping till the end objective is achieved. There must be

MN Devarajan was a nice fellow. Just that he always managed to put me in trouble. Back then, my father had a Bajaj Chetak scooter...and Devarajan sowed the seeds of inferiority complex in me by saying that his father went to office in a helicopter. I continued to feel bad

World`s funniest billboards - those that exist and those that don`t On August 31st, Ouchmytoe carried an article on why only women are used on billboards. During my research for the article, I came across a blog which listed out "Billboards we will never see" - perhaps, the best funny

After reading this, you would probably wonder how I managed to get four jobs in the last seven years. But as they say, destiny sure plays a hand. Like all those misguided-missiles-tipped-with-truckloads-of-shit, that one saw on college campus in the early nineties, I also wanted to do an MBA. I had

Those that don`t watch BBC or CNN`s primetime news bulletin are probably not aware that I have quit my Sports Editor`s job at www.sify.com. Not much of a Sports Editor, but still. I will be joining American International Group (www.aig.com) as their Corporate Communication guy. Is the move good or bad? I

Every production unit in the World looks at inventing, patenting and then making shit loads of money. Yet, here is one idea that has not struck them. An idea that six billion earthlings will be willing to buy at the price it is quoted. Name of the product: Shirk-o-meter Bandwidth: Will help an

Rekha and I were part of the Vlogger Tinker Meetup held at Kiruba`s wife`s office on Sunday. The 15 or so video-blogging enthusiasts who had assembled were divided into 3-member teams and asked to come up with a video which could then be uploaded. From what I can see, only

Babies can turn Worlds upside down. Especially if...yours is a small World involving a small 3-bedroom apartment, a 100-member office and a four member family. At least, my baby has changed my world. Last night at 3 am I was woken out of my slumber by an ecstatic Rekha shouting:

August 6 can't be forgotten. It was on this day that US of A gave birth to organized terrorism (doesn`t terrorism actually mean creating terror?) by dropping an atom bomb called ‘Little Boy` on Hiroshima. History tells us that they dropped another on August 9, and that too after knowing

Please accept my sincere apologies for being late. Since my last trespass here, I have been to Madurai and back and have also joined Satyam Computers (will be working from their office in Shollinganallur, Chennai). A second-class compartment is home to many con stories. Some of these stories don`t involve sedative-laced

It seems happiness of a man depends on the length of his wife`s toe. No, unfortunately..I am not gifted with foot fetish. Blame it on all the smelly feet that I have come across in my good old romantic days. According to an urban legend if the second toe (one next

Three months back I had decided to be in Madurai for a wedding on Sep 9 & 10. But on 6th I decided to drop the Madurai trip and attend the BlogCamp instead. After spending two days at the BlogCamp, I have realized that very little differentiates BlogCamp from a

Sharad Pawar is the new BCCI President. How refreshing. The democratic country that we are, anybody can be elected to top posts. Just about anybody. Even Sharad Pawar... Indian cricket has eventually managed to get out of the frying pan and reach the fire. I am not surprised Sharad Pawar is

Ever wanted to create your own jokes? The best way to begin is to indulge in the simplest form of humor - ‘deviation from the normal`. For example: You start telling a joke about an elephant. You say: "There was this he-elephant, and he wanted to get married." Your audience is

Listed here are 99 most desirable women in the World. This is a list prepared by AskMen.com. If you haven`t been to the site before...please do. It is an awesome site..very useful for men. And it is equally useful for women because they get an insight into a man`s mind. You

Controversial British comedian Bernard Manning died today. Branded a racist through out his life, the star comedian was banned from many clubs in Britain. His death hasn`t settled matters...people are still arguing if racist comments can be funny. The good thing about a comedian dying is that you get other

I wonder why Alexander the Great was ready to risk thousands of his soldiers` lives (not to mention his own) and conquer the whole World. Or for that matter the Mongol King Genghis Khan. What did they get out of their never-say-die pursuits that led to such mayhem? I would never

What is the issue all about? We expect our Government to do a lot of things - But not Ban Blogs. That too Because a Bunch of terrorists exchanged messages on some God forsaken private Blog. We had two opposing reasons to Believe that the Government would never resort to something like

What Mel Brooks once said is so true. A few decades back he had said that slightest of an issue with us is a tragedy and the biggest of issues with others is comedy (read exact quote below). I remember going to a funeral of a diabetic patient and chuckling,

When I left Yahoo in just seven months, I had sent out a farewell mail to all my Yahoo colleagues. Today, while going through my old mails...I saw this and I have to admit that I was impressed with the farewell mail I had sent out. Thought why not share

In my 30-year-old stay in India, I have hosted many foreigners. And on all occasions, I have been tempted to tell stories ...ones not true but ...ones that make interesting listening. Stories like those narrated to the foreigners by the pan-chewing guides at the gates of Taj Mahal. Or closer

Diwali was a blast. Pun very seriously intended. It was raining yet my brother-in-law and I went to buy crackers. The initial child-like enthusiasm died once we saw the crowd. It was the day before Diwali and everybody was queuing up in front of the veddi kaddai (that`s how we call

I am writing a book. I have got the page numbers done. - Steven Wright Some of the comments left in my Blog are very flattering on the surface - they say I should get into writing. I ask them all: "Haven`t I already started? And aren`t you reading what I wrote?" Anyways....you

If you are a married lady this article will be of great use to you. If you are a girl and grappling with a boy friend, this article can help you to handle your boy friend better. And if you are a guy, be warned...the lady of your life might

According to Google Analytics - the number cruncher I use for Ouchmytoe, these are the articles that have got the maximum number of hits. Believing in collective wisdom, I am sharing this with you. Read these at leisure. Needless to say, Ouchmytoe articles never go out of date. After all,

The way I react to people, the way I respond to stimuli...so much so, even the way I speak on the phone has been changing. There was a time when my phone conversations used to be loud and confident. Then came Rekha and I became a little different. Polished, I would

It was one of those moments that can not be captured with a still camera. Or for that matter with a motion camera. Afterall, every moment has its share of hormonal rush, its share of hidden feelings and unsaid words. My marriage reception was coming to an end and Rekha's family

Have you ever had a boss who works out of another city? Or have you interacted with a client living across seven seas? If yes, chances are you have attended conference calls. Don`t ask me why they are also known as con-calls.... In my earlier job (with so many bloggers asked to

It has been a heavy weekend for me. For fitness freaks a heavy weekend would mean lifting heavy weights at the gym. For the music types...a heavy weekend would mean hours of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Blue Cheer etc. But for me...it just means a weekend when I

Twenty sixth of April is my birthday and I will be alone in Gurgaon. My wife and daughter are in Kerala celebrating Vishu (the New Year in Kerala) and my only girl friend will be out of town. Since I didn`t want to spend my birthday alone & drinking, I

# Now that India has won, who is the only male in India who is upset about Poonam Pandey stripping? Answer: Her Boyfriend (her father gave up sometime during India-Sri Lanka's second innings) # Dhoni is having a tough time explaining to his wife that his final's performance had got nothing to

Let us accept it. Not all interviews are with the intension of hiring. How many times have we seen Jeetendra or Shahi Kapoor or Shammi Kapoor sitting inside the Manager`s cabin...the phone rings...the manager picks it up...keeps on saying "Yes sir"...turns to the protagonist and says, "I was about to