Jamshed V Rajan, Author at Ouchmytoe.com

Taj Mahal – the untold story

Sucking up to your boss can take you places. But it can`t take your mom places too…so when my mother wanted to see the Taj Mahal, I had to plan the trip myself.

Ever since my father fell to Cancer in 2005, my mother has lived a lonely existence. She keeps visiting her three children but goes back to the nest that her husband built for her with his post-retirement funds. So, when she is with us and wants anything done…no questions asked…it gets done.

“Son, I would like to visit Agra,” It was my mom talking.

“Why?” I enquired.

“Haven`t you heard of Taj Mahal? It is in Agra.” It was my mom talking, again.

Finding a play school for Rhea in Gurgaon

by Jamshed V Rajan

Our daughter is just two years and three months but keeping in with the family tradition we have decided to push her into hell when she least expects it. After all, why shouldn`t we revenge what was done to us?

Rekha`s initial list has ten play schools – play schools that made it to the quarter finals. After speaking to a few parents, reading up the internet on playschools in Gurgaon…she finalized the three semifinalists – Modern Montessori International Gurgaon, iDiscoveri Gurgaon and Kara For Kids. You probably wonder how can there be three semi-finalists? Well…in my house my wife decides…so park your thoughts please.

The first school we visited was Modern Montessori International at Sector 40 in Gurgaon. Just as we entered the gates, I heard the security guard say, “Hi….baby. What is your name?”

An Ode to Michael Jackson alias Jacko Wackode

by Jamshed V Rajan

The climax of the ‘Thriller` is out…Michael Jackson dies of a ‘Bad` & ‘Dangerous` heart attack and becomes ‘History.` I loved the guy. He was my hero for almost seven years – from 1985 to 1992.

Ikroop Singh, my fifth standard class mate in Kendriya Vidhyalaya, BallyGunge Military Camp, Calcutta in 1985 introduced me to Michael Jackson. Unable to handle the class, the teacher who had stepped in for our absent class teacher, asked if anybody could entertain the whole class. That`s when Ikroop Singh stepped out and said he could dance like Michael Jackson.

You know…I don`t think all that controversy about Michael Jackson & young boys is true…for back then I was a handsome ten-year-old and still a virgin.

Men and women stress differently

by Jamshed V Rajan

Men and women handle stress differently. Like me, if you are also married you can go ahead and close this window….but if you aren`t married…carry on reading, these could end up being the words that will leave you a bachelor for life.

Lets start with the women first. Unlike men, they have various kinds of stress. These can be primarily divided into three types:

1) Stress due to withholding a secret
2) Stress due to ‘those 3 days`
3) Stress due to relationships

If I have missed out any, please let me know. My research on women had to be stopped midway when the women on whom I was researching refused to participate due to stress

When I got kidnapped

by Jamshed V Rajan

This was the last thing I expected. I can understand when a pretty girl gets kidnapped by a rowdy for sex (read Sita getting kidnapped by Ravana) or when a rich kid gets kidnapped for money….but me? This was the heights. It all started with an irresponsible statement by Suneet Manchanda (if you want to … Read more

Love and hate relationships with wives

by Jamshed V Rajan

It has been ages since I updated you on how my married life with Rekha has been progressing. Let me break the streak and come up with a post on how “blissful” the marriage has been. As you are already aware I am not a fan of this institution called Marriage. Perhaps, because of what … Read more

When Ram suspected Sita

by Jamshed V Rajan

Sometime back I had written that after Rhea`s birth (my two year old daughter), Rekha (my God-knows how old wife) and I had started fighting for different reasons. If you missed that, you can re-read the blog post here.

So, last Friday we fought again – after 2 months.

Before leaving office at 8 p.m., I called up Rekha.

“Rekha, I will be late. I am sorry.”

“Everything fine… right? With all this recession, one can never be sure.”

Poem: No Longer Innocent

by Jamshed V Rajan

This was a little like summer of 69 – when the sex was dirty and the air was clean. Back then, I was young and energetic and didn`t need to eat two capsules of Spirulina (try it!) just to stay awake. Just in case you are wondering, I eat five tablets of Spirulina when I am meeting a girl in the evening.

Anyway, lets stick to important things…I have been a little busy of late and hence couldn`t come up with an article which can be claimed as ‘funny`.

What does a failed writer do in such circumstances? Does he go to great lengths to please his readers? Nope…being a sissy, I also opted for the easy way out.